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Well, it took some work, but I finally came up with a joke that was so offensive and uncalled-for that it's caused two friends (so far) to stop speaking with me.

I shall not repeat it here. TheFuckOffKid knows the joke. Ask him; he laughed at it and therefore has neither decency nor, I surmise, a soul.
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burningkrome:
Punchlines to MY all time favorite off color, politically incorrect, morally repugnant jokes :-)

"No...but do you have a little gold <insert racial slur here>?"

...and...

"Hello? Jim's mortuary? Yeah...the dead ones' full again."

sometimesaway:
I know one that's worse.
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Does ANYONE read my updates?

If you do, post a reply with the name of your favorite Bauhaus song.
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thefuckoffkid:
The Passion of Lovers.

D'you read my comments or what, eh? mad
brainfromarous:
What comments?
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Happy New Year, 2006!

My one resolution is not to kill myself.

I made the same one last year... and kept it, it would seem.

2 years in a row might be pushing it... but you've gotta dream big.
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Rockin' with Rita - Head to Toe!
reprobate:
Oh, of course not, I have friends and family in that union, and I think, honestly, the strike was quite possibly a seriously bad idea, strategically. They don't have a remotely big enough strike fund to carry it forward.

I do think it's funny that all the SGNY kids are bitching. Sure walking sucks, and so does not being able to afford to live near where you work, but having just spent the last four months doing without things like potable water, electric, phone, and gas, and still not being able to buy a loaf of bread after 6:00 without driving 15 miles (which could easily take an hour) or get mail delivered to my house, it seems pretty funny to me.
brainfromarous:
I'm just glad someone besides myself still knows that the word "potable" doesn't mean "something which can be placed in a pot."

On the other hand, you must play a pretty mean banjo / jug / harmonica / washboard by now.

Oh well, strike's over.
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Eh, never mind.
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burningkrome:

Sorry for the late reply...

No worries :-D

The standard fideist line on the two Genesis accounts is that the second (longer) is a clarification of the first (shorter). Fair enough, says I, but Jehovah still flunks basic astronomy...

I dont know. Based on the timeline from Steven Hawkings A breif History of Time regarding the theoretical timeline after the big bang and during the formation of the Universal bodies...the Genesis account of the Universe may be pretty close, in a rough scale.

I.E. Quarks, and photons (light) would have been the first elements created within the first 60 seconds after the Big Bang, then hydrogen, then [big time gap], then the core of planets would have formed from the heavier, less volatile matter in the universe, and then stars would have congealed from the lighter, more volatile gasses into solar bodies.

As for the Garden of Eden...that would obviously have to have been analogous :-)

It just amazes me that people kill each other over things like this.

Me too. The Bible cannot be taken at face value if for no other reason than the translational arguments are too great. :-)

brainfromarous:
Well, the astronomy problem I was referring to is the Genesis writer's clear belief that sunlight and moonlight (the greater and lesser lights) are two distrinct things.

And I still want to know what happened to the Nephilim...
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Unlike Cody Chesnutt, I do not look good in leather.
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Another True Story

Since I lived outside of my grade school's bus route, the school paid for a taxi to take me and several other kids to and from our homes.

Our regular taxi driver, Sam, was the coolest adult I had yet met. He told great dirty jokes. He could walk a coin across his knuckles - something I never managed, no matter how...
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brainfromarous:
Be my guest. I just wish there were more good whistlers...
missnomer:
I made the mistake of explaining the 2% thing to my friend the physicist, and now he's trying to disprove the theory.
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A True Story

Years ago when I was in college, my roommate "Hedgehog" Dave and I went out to a bar to unwind. Hedgehog's family was extremely well set-up and he drove a gorgeous Ferrari 328 GTS which never failed to turn heads. We took this car to the bar.

After 30 mins in the bar, Hedgehog realizes he left his favorite scarf in the...
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People find different ways to be creative. Some paint, others sing and still others rip aside the hypocritical bourgeois facade of something or other in a ceaseless effort to shock their paren-- er, I mean, change the world through their art.

Me? I make up fake Cosmo article titles.

Here's my latest:

101 Hottest Sex Tips for Faking Orgasm During Masturbation while Handling Stress at...
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brainfromarous:
Not bad, Morgan, not bad at all.

We still need to work in a mention of Brad and Angelina, somehow...
norritt:
hilarious tongue
your dk example on the boards was very well written