There's been a pain in the back of my head now since Sunday morning when I came off shift. It hurts. It's like a muscle strain that I get when I'm all tensual. I think I had it Wednesday night when I was running around like a maniac after Amy's sandbagging and it just never got better. Lessened a bit but I wonder...now it's just...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
insomnia:
Hey, I just joined and HeXeK said you were a cool dude! So just thought I'd pay a little visit. Hey I wanna be in a league too! What about a league of a few good men and 1 woman 
insomnia:
Oh how sweet! you let me into the group AND you called me CUTE. Your my new bud!
I think it needs to be said that a gin and tonic (Bombay Blue Sapphire, baby! 
), a couple of advil, three PB&J's and about 6 hours of fevered sleep is just the cure for a massive headache and a need to kill human beings. I'm sitting here right now with the remnants of a headache, a full belly, a haze in my eye and...
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), a couple of advil, three PB&J's and about 6 hours of fevered sleep is just the cure for a massive headache and a need to kill human beings. I'm sitting here right now with the remnants of a headache, a full belly, a haze in my eye and... Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
pebbles:
I need to find me a guy to just play around with......... 
Some comments and thoughts came up in my head this early morn as insomnia ruins me again. I thought to myself, "Self, while the CD's full of joy of painting episodes burn on the computer, let's jot down some of these thoughts while they are still fresh." And I concurred. So here we go.
- I Hate White Horse Syndrome -
White Horse Syndrome is...
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- I Hate White Horse Syndrome -
White Horse Syndrome is...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
thelastbeliever:
I never have anything to say on your journal entries that i think will be fitting. I really do enjoy reading them in a kind of "fly on the wall" sort of way. It's really great how open you are about everything and to take a peek into someone elses life is both fascinating and motivating. It allows me to listen to a contrast of my own life, coming from someone who is much the opposite of me in many ways.
It almost feels like when you play a mind absorbing computer game or watch an indepth well acted/scriped film. It lets me be transported to somewhere else and for a few minutes, forget who and where i am. You're a good man. Keep that chin up.
It almost feels like when you play a mind absorbing computer game or watch an indepth well acted/scriped film. It lets me be transported to somewhere else and for a few minutes, forget who and where i am. You're a good man. Keep that chin up.
hexek:
Well as usual I see how good of a person you are and you show. I love how honest and open you are in your journals its trully like seeing deep into your soul. And thats why I as many other people can see that you are an amazing individual.
As far as what you want to try and do, be open and willing. Get away from the stereotype and no matter age, sex, preffence, location get to know people. The more you go out and try to expand your life expieriences the more you will learn to find out what is in that last peel of the onion and you can truely find yourself and happiness.
You will, and like me it seems like you want it right away. But enjoy the exploring and experimenting and relax. You will get what you truelly deserve after a while. Nice guys dont finish last. They only get turned down by the white horse beautiful blondes who go for the white horse athletic guy. And you want pureity not vanity.
Good luck man, really. Drop me a line if you need anything.
As far as what you want to try and do, be open and willing. Get away from the stereotype and no matter age, sex, preffence, location get to know people. The more you go out and try to expand your life expieriences the more you will learn to find out what is in that last peel of the onion and you can truely find yourself and happiness.
You will, and like me it seems like you want it right away. But enjoy the exploring and experimenting and relax. You will get what you truelly deserve after a while. Nice guys dont finish last. They only get turned down by the white horse beautiful blondes who go for the white horse athletic guy. And you want pureity not vanity.
Good luck man, really. Drop me a line if you need anything.
It's the afternoon of the 2nd and it's time for another session on the pissy pot. Yay. I get so tired sometimes of writing these entries and not being able to do much about them. Oh well. Hopefully I'lll be getting a fat paycheck this week so I can start my driving lessons. I so need to get driving. I so need to start showing...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
thelastbeliever:
You got yourself a deal my man. If you come over then heads will roll.
pebbles:
So how are you feeling hun? Any better? 
It's the last day of the year and it's time to write an entry. Joy. I do believe that sometimes this is the only shit keeping me alive. And if an internet porn/social/elitist community is the only damned thing I look forward to then I'm so screwed.
I haven't wanted to write as of late. The isolation depression has come back big time and it's...
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I haven't wanted to write as of late. The isolation depression has come back big time and it's...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
thelastbeliever:
Happy new year fella. All the best and i hope the new year brings you loads of luck and stuff.
infinitelykaty:
Whenever I think about how hard it is to "fit in", I think of something Henry Rollins says on The End Of Silence:
some people are better left alone
And then I usually cry. But Henry Rollins is an outcast and a total badass...so we kind of have good company in our no company.
Anyway, happy new year...
some people are better left alone
And then I usually cry. But Henry Rollins is an outcast and a total badass...so we kind of have good company in our no company.
Anyway, happy new year...
I had this big list of things I wanted to write about as that is the custom for me as a writer in my journals. Always has been. But I cannot find the list. I only vaugely remember the list and there are other things I want to talk about.
So we're going to sit here, we being me and the cast of thousands that...
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So we're going to sit here, we being me and the cast of thousands that...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
suzy_kabloozy:
Honey bunches ... refer to my November 17th post if you think I don't know about addiction!
The only problem with Crystal is it makes you think bigger thoughts than most people's brains need to think. I'm sorry you are sad. I know what you mean. Today I am happy but there is no guarantee for tomorrow. I just know if I give in to the substance problem, hey, I can be thinking big thoughts again myself!
You know what the connection told me last week? He said I was too smart to do drugs. Now this is not the same thing that my mom used to say ... even though he used the same words. What he meant was: I think too much as it is and when I am tweaking, I am freakin' hectic!
Oh, and happy belated birthday, baby! Had I known, I would have baked ya a cake.
The only problem with Crystal is it makes you think bigger thoughts than most people's brains need to think. I'm sorry you are sad. I know what you mean. Today I am happy but there is no guarantee for tomorrow. I just know if I give in to the substance problem, hey, I can be thinking big thoughts again myself!
You know what the connection told me last week? He said I was too smart to do drugs. Now this is not the same thing that my mom used to say ... even though he used the same words. What he meant was: I think too much as it is and when I am tweaking, I am freakin' hectic!
Oh, and happy belated birthday, baby! Had I known, I would have baked ya a cake.
pebbles:
So how are you doing? Feeling any better?
This is going to be a short entry as I have to go to work again tonight. I got home safe but had to go stright into work last night. Bitch. 12 hours on the road and then another 8 behind the line makes for a very tired negro. Tired negro is unpahhy negro as is pnuemonic negro.
I had a good trip and a...
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I had a good trip and a...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
godess_akasha:
I missed the birthday entry too. Happy birthday! Flying home for the holidays sounds like a nice gift to me? How was the myspace meeting?
sabine:
aww, thank you. that's very flattering.
I got off work early tonight and I'm less than 10 hours away from lifting off on the big freedom bird to go back to my cold little hell. God I'm excited. I'm so ready to leave I'm doing the Mark G. patented "Stay up and not go to bed" travel routine. I just can't sleep. Whether that's because of my anticipation or the yellowjackets...
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I'm so ready to leave I'm doing the Mark G. patented "Stay up and not go to bed" travel routine. I just can't sleep. Whether that's because of my anticipation or the yellowjackets... Read More
VIEW 25 of 48 COMMENTS
___k:
Hey Oldness - Happy Holidays, Happy Belated Birthday!
I hope all's well with you, see you soon!
[k]
I hope all's well with you, see you soon!
[k]
sarcasticmenace:
Happy holidays and happy belated birthday!
I'm going to write this entry then go to bed. I have to get up and walk to work tonight seeing as I have no ride to get back and forth. Thus is my life. Walk to work, spend three hours out on the road, do the life. Live the american dream.
Yeah.
- Dissapointment, the Causation for a Silver Lining -
Writer got herself...
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Yeah.
- Dissapointment, the Causation for a Silver Lining -
Writer got herself...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
mufkin:
awww, you'll find someone else. You seem pretty cool!
necrophagist:
Dude, this is no consolation or anything or in any way related to the issues here, but i really like your writing style.
If there is anything i really wish i could do is convey my thoughts into prose that is well structured and interesting to read.
Chin up fella
If there is anything i really wish i could do is convey my thoughts into prose that is well structured and interesting to read.
Chin up fella
I'm here, my back hurts and I've not written in a while. Seems the perfect time to bust out an entry. Yup.
- Going Home... -
I got the funding from my grandmother and I will be leaving for home Tuesday afternoon, the day before my birthday. By 9 pm eastern time, I'll be hopefully bellied up to my old bar in the Elm City,...
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- Going Home... -
I got the funding from my grandmother and I will be leaving for home Tuesday afternoon, the day before my birthday. By 9 pm eastern time, I'll be hopefully bellied up to my old bar in the Elm City,...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
kmfcm:
yeaaah, i thought that was you i saw on myspace
[Edited on Dec 19, 2004 12:35AM]
[Edited on Dec 19, 2004 12:35AM]
durbustweeb:
You're reading it right... and reading it wrong. Deliberately ambiguous and contradictory.
Yeah, you're right about "getting what you come here for." You came here for nakkidness... I didn't. I came for people watching and trying to understand what is passing through the minds of so many people. It's great for that.
And if this is someone's life, heck, it's sad, but everyone needs a place to be themself. No denying we all need people to prop us up when we get hit, or that it doesn't sting when someone dumps on us in quarkworld.
But a careful read shows there's only one and a half paragraphs about SG. The rest extends everywhere we take ourselves. Read it again in that context and it means something different.
Which is why you were conflicted, I think.
[Edited on Dec 19, 2004 11:12AM]
Yeah, you're right about "getting what you come here for." You came here for nakkidness... I didn't. I came for people watching and trying to understand what is passing through the minds of so many people. It's great for that.
And if this is someone's life, heck, it's sad, but everyone needs a place to be themself. No denying we all need people to prop us up when we get hit, or that it doesn't sting when someone dumps on us in quarkworld.
But a careful read shows there's only one and a half paragraphs about SG. The rest extends everywhere we take ourselves. Read it again in that context and it means something different.
Which is why you were conflicted, I think.
[Edited on Dec 19, 2004 11:12AM]
bigblack81:
Random. Oh so random.
bigblack81:
I Like Gin. A Lot.