atomicant

so it's been an... interesting day.

in the past 18 hours i have been from idaho to minneapolis and back. my fiance had a major breakdown, and told me she didn't think she loved me anymore and didn't want to get married. i am back with my parents, since we just moved from california and were planning on buying a house together in portland. so now i am effectively homeless, and i have a container full of shared belongings that i have to sort through and ship to her at some point.

i feel like shit, and other than that i don't know much else.

edit.

i'm keeping the previous part just as sort of a history of where i am right now.

so i'm single. for the first time in a long time. the wedding that was supposed to happen in two weeks isn't, my ex is getting intense therapy to deal with her depression, and i decided to go ahead and buy the house that we were going to buy together. will it remind me of her? of course. but not much around me doesn't remind me of her. and i need a place to live with my dogs, and i just think it's the best bet.

i'm actually pretty ok right now. it's been rough, but i feel ok. i feel alive. i feel scared. but i know there are people that have got my back. lots of people.

'the dude abides.'

edited again.

so, life moves on. i have to shop for gifts, and i fucking hate that, always have. but sympathy only buys you so much, and it don't want to milk it too much. i might need it later.

i spent some time today with my cousin and her two kids. god, i loved it. and all the goodwill i've received from friends and family has carried me through this rather shittish time in my life.

but i am good. i have a home, or will next week. i can live with my dogs. it looks like my cousin (male, single, and just as nerdy as me) will move in with me, at least for a while. we're going to have a great time. i'll be able to be a bachelor again. i haven't been that in a long, long while.

i guess i'm trying to say i'm ok.

edited once more to post the nicest thing anyone has said about me.

a little background. my older sister went through a very similiar experience 5 years ago. her fiance back out 7 days before the ceremony, and as luck would have it, she was also getting married around christmas. apparently we are cursed.

T,

Like you, I am in shock and so very sorry for Adam. And for H, too, to have to experience some of the same feelings again, this time on her brother's behalf. Why this has to happen to Adam and H, whom you and L have done an incredible job of helping become such nice, responsible, interesting, and rock-solid adults, defies logic. In some paradoxical way, perhaps the fact that in each case the other person let it go so long up until the 11th hour does reflect how much they relied on H and Adam's strength.

C


names have been changed to protect the innocent. mine has not.

nice to meet you all.


edited yet once again:

also, there have been a lot of shit moments about this whole thing. but cancelling my honeymoon was the worst thing. evar.