apropoetic

I need to learn my place, stop thinking I'm anyone's friend, stop thinking people want to see my comments. I'm tired of falling into the same trap and being made to look like a complete ass for giving a shit about people, like I'm terribly sorry I care but thanks for publicly shaming me.

Everything about today's culture is bullshit. You get shit on for...
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My grandmother had her life support pulled yesterday evening. Her health has been failing in recent years. She had a kidney transplant years ago and I guess her kidneys started failing again and had been on dialysis again. She had severe pneumonia two years ago and mid last year found out she had esophageal cancer. They did surgery to remove it and she had been...
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Well... I didn't realize my SG sub apparently auto renews until I checked my bank account this morning and didn't have enough for my student loan payment. I guess I still have my sub at least.

My SG sub runs out in a few days and I think I might have to let it go for a bit until something happens and I get some money or maybe if there's a sale I can take advantage of. I was lucky to have even been able to have it for this last year thanks to someone's generosity. Depending on how things go...
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Had my surgery a couple days ago. Face swollen and hurts like hell but other than that fine as far as I know. Apparently they are retesting the growth just to be sure it wasn't cancerous but I was told they managed to remove it all.

Just a little update about me if anyone wants to know...

So I found out a month ago at the dentist that there was a hole in my x-rays where it appears some kind of infection had eaten away at my upper jaw and the roots of my teeth and I had a lump in the roof of my mouth. I ended up having a...
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You were my companion for more years than I got to know my own father and now you're gone too...

So I typed up this whole thing but forget it. No need to depress anyone any further with what I would have said. I'll try to survive and I hope you all do too or even better maybe you'll have a good holiday.

I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way... I've felt this way even as a small child, but how do you pay off your debt when that debt is your own existence? I know it's a depressing thought but it's just one I've never been able to shake and certain things last night and tonight have just caused it to resurface.

Feels like you really can't win sometimes, or all the time, or whatever...I don't know.