Now that is what I call wishfull thinking....what I meant to type was 73 hours remaining....
of course, now it's down to about to 54 hours...
37 hours and counting....
After almost 3 years of trials and tribulations, I am finally going to make it back to the only place I've ever felt at home...Santa Cruz, CA....These last few days are taking waaaaaay too long....
I recently remembered an interesting encounter I had with a man while in Santa Cruz last time...to make a long, strange story short...he offered to give me what I had been looking for on a quest of the self/heart/spirit...I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for, but what he offered was to give away my truck (which at the time was my house)...or go through a series of "nightmares"....I told him that I didn't beleive that giving him my truck was gonna do anything to help me, and in keeping it I was able to help many people in my street family in various ways. Well, I kinda wish I had given it to him now, because if I had it could never have been stolen a couple of months later. I never would have been stranded in the middle of Utah...My friend would not be in prison...and I could have saved a lot of trouble from happening in my life and that of others.
But...in the end, I found was I was looking for...or at least some of it...and now it's time for a new beginning.
of course, now it's down to about to 54 hours...
37 hours and counting....
After almost 3 years of trials and tribulations, I am finally going to make it back to the only place I've ever felt at home...Santa Cruz, CA....These last few days are taking waaaaaay too long....
I recently remembered an interesting encounter I had with a man while in Santa Cruz last time...to make a long, strange story short...he offered to give me what I had been looking for on a quest of the self/heart/spirit...I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for, but what he offered was to give away my truck (which at the time was my house)...or go through a series of "nightmares"....I told him that I didn't beleive that giving him my truck was gonna do anything to help me, and in keeping it I was able to help many people in my street family in various ways. Well, I kinda wish I had given it to him now, because if I had it could never have been stolen a couple of months later. I never would have been stranded in the middle of Utah...My friend would not be in prison...and I could have saved a lot of trouble from happening in my life and that of others.
But...in the end, I found was I was looking for...or at least some of it...and now it's time for a new beginning.
So...I've been neglecting my duties as an SG member...the internet connection offshore is usually crap...so I don't have the patience to wait for loading on here.
But, I've finally posted another installment of my writing....see previous blog.
Alright, this is a call to all of you SGSC members...I'm moving back home to the 831, and I wanna start collecting the locals...I'm gonna have 2 weeks at a time of shore-leave and I need interesting people to entertain me... Get to it!
But, I've finally posted another installment of my writing....see previous blog.
Alright, this is a call to all of you SGSC members...I'm moving back home to the 831, and I wanna start collecting the locals...I'm gonna have 2 weeks at a time of shore-leave and I need interesting people to entertain me... Get to it!
To Sleep at Dawn
As I step into this silent screaming chaos of self, another day begins to end. Somehow, in a world where something always seems to be not quite right, yet nothing is ever truly wrong...I find some fleeting semblance of inner silence... Free from the shadowy storm clouds of mind. Weary from lifetimes of masochistic samasara, in this moment's peace I want only to sleep...to enter into my own private universe of Morpheus's making. A metaphysical metaphor where imagination is reality, creativity is wealth...repetition the only taboo, and shadows cannot feed on our luminosity... To dream is to be born into infinity... Waking only as Death binds the flesh with his rusty shackles once more... until the day when my slumber cannot be broken, and I meet my friend, my lover, my audience...the end. And in that moment, I will once again begin to end, like this dawning summer day...
As I step into this silent screaming chaos of self, another day begins to end. Somehow, in a world where something always seems to be not quite right, yet nothing is ever truly wrong...I find some fleeting semblance of inner silence... Free from the shadowy storm clouds of mind. Weary from lifetimes of masochistic samasara, in this moment's peace I want only to sleep...to enter into my own private universe of Morpheus's making. A metaphysical metaphor where imagination is reality, creativity is wealth...repetition the only taboo, and shadows cannot feed on our luminosity... To dream is to be born into infinity... Waking only as Death binds the flesh with his rusty shackles once more... until the day when my slumber cannot be broken, and I meet my friend, my lover, my audience...the end. And in that moment, I will once again begin to end, like this dawning summer day...
Well...It looks like I am finally gonna be going back to Santa Cruz. It's been almost 3 years since I left on my road trip to randomness that ended in a stagnant hell of homesick heartache. I've been reduced to nothing more than the clothes on my back at least 3 times since (and once I didn't even have shoes). Now I've found the truck that was stolen when I was shanghied in the desert, and have to go get it in Cali...since I'm gonna be within a 100 miles or so...I might as well go home. I can't stop thinking of old faces and favorite places from 'back in the day'. I guess this is what being home sick is all about...but before Santa Cruz, I never really felt at home. These last few days before i get off of work (offshore) are killing me...I wanna go right now!!! (stamping foot, and pouting)
I have a bunch of poetry and whatnot that I am slowly copying to my laptap, so I will start posting some of it here...stay tuned. This one's short because I'm feeling lazy about typing right now...It's about a girl I knew who was making herself and everyone close to her hurt from some unknown inner demon of pain...or maybe it's about someone you know...or maybe even you...You decide.
Her Pulsing Scar
So many faces, so many lies...
Soul erases in front of your eyes...
Trap your life in a web of mind...
Heart cold, three eyes blind...
Weave your own entanglement...
Heal your heart to mangle it...
Build a mound of scar tissue...
'Till that pulsing scar is you...
Sweet Trooth
Her Pulsing Scar
So many faces, so many lies...
Soul erases in front of your eyes...
Trap your life in a web of mind...
Heart cold, three eyes blind...
Weave your own entanglement...
Heal your heart to mangle it...
Build a mound of scar tissue...
'Till that pulsing scar is you...
Sweet Trooth
Well...it's been 3 years...I guess it's time to post a new blog entry.
Long story short...Traveling from Santa Cruz to Virginia beach with friends...Made it to Wendover, Utah...Truck and everything stolen...No car...No phone...2 friends (Mark & Sobe)...Half a pack of smokes...Fucked in the desert (and not in the good way)...Hitch a ride with crack-heads to Salt Lake City...
Homeless...Helpless...On the streets of Salt Lake Shitty...No one here but Mormons, Crack-heads and Cops...Mormons don't want anything to do with us...I don't want anything to do with the crack-heads...Cops won't leave us alone...Total of 358 days in jail (in 2 years time)...Mark is still locked up...Sobe missing....
Probation over after 10 months... Have a beautiful baby boy... Spencer O'neal Sands... He is with his mama in Utah... Miss the little bastard every day... Moved back to Louisiana... Working offshore... Providing for the little guy and getting my life back like I want it...
Left out a lot, but I am using an ipod touch and my fingers can't figure this keyboard out yet.
Long story short...Traveling from Santa Cruz to Virginia beach with friends...Made it to Wendover, Utah...Truck and everything stolen...No car...No phone...2 friends (Mark & Sobe)...Half a pack of smokes...Fucked in the desert (and not in the good way)...Hitch a ride with crack-heads to Salt Lake City...
Homeless...Helpless...On the streets of Salt Lake Shitty...No one here but Mormons, Crack-heads and Cops...Mormons don't want anything to do with us...I don't want anything to do with the crack-heads...Cops won't leave us alone...Total of 358 days in jail (in 2 years time)...Mark is still locked up...Sobe missing....
Probation over after 10 months... Have a beautiful baby boy... Spencer O'neal Sands... He is with his mama in Utah... Miss the little bastard every day... Moved back to Louisiana... Working offshore... Providing for the little guy and getting my life back like I want it...
Left out a lot, but I am using an ipod touch and my fingers can't figure this keyboard out yet.
Well...it's been 3 years...I guess it's time to post a new blog entry.
Long story short...Traveling from Santa Cruz to Virginia beach with friends...Made it to Wendover, Utah...Truck and everything stolen...No car...No phone...2 friends (Mark & Sobe)...Half a pack of smokes...Fucked in the desert (and not in the good way)...Hitch a ride with crack-heads to Salt Lake City...
Homeless...Helpless...On the streets of Salt Lake Shitty...No one here but Mormons, Crack-heads and Cops...Mormons don't want anything to do with us...I don't want anything to do with the crack-heads...Cops won't leave us alone...Total of 358 days in jail (in 2 years time)...Mark is still locked up...Sobe missing....
Gotta go...finish later...
Long story short...Traveling from Santa Cruz to Virginia beach with friends...Made it to Wendover, Utah...Truck and everything stolen...No car...No phone...2 friends (Mark & Sobe)...Half a pack of smokes...Fucked in the desert (and not in the good way)...Hitch a ride with crack-heads to Salt Lake City...
Homeless...Helpless...On the streets of Salt Lake Shitty...No one here but Mormons, Crack-heads and Cops...Mormons don't want anything to do with us...I don't want anything to do with the crack-heads...Cops won't leave us alone...Total of 358 days in jail (in 2 years time)...Mark is still locked up...Sobe missing....
Gotta go...finish later...
I'm still alive...Life is good...I moved to Santa Cruz...I'm gonna be traveling the west coast soon...more later...
I am trying to make time for SG...but the schedule is over booked already...
Anyway...had a huge going away party at my house last night for a friend...tons of alcohol...even more herb...and about 100 people later....
the house is a wreck...Im still high from last night...my roommates are all passed out and feel like shit...the guest of honor left wth a broken car window...but it was all for 'bon temps'....now who wants to clean up?
Anyway...had a huge going away party at my house last night for a friend...tons of alcohol...even more herb...and about 100 people later....
the house is a wreck...Im still high from last night...my roommates are all passed out and feel like shit...the guest of honor left wth a broken car window...but it was all for 'bon temps'....now who wants to clean up?
