We interrupt the regularly scheduled Star Wars Sunday to bring you this very important announcement:
Now don't get me wrong, Star Wars is wicked important to me and basically the glue that binds the universe together but ... well, I have a dog. I've never had one before.
This is Kelly.
She's an Australian Shepard.
Basically, she has a wonky accent and herds farm animals for fun, which makes her more interesting than 95% of my previous girlfriends.
She's a year old and a stray. I don't know who lost her but I feel sorry for them because she is now mine.
She rides shotgun like a champ, jumps right up into the passenger seat. She's already been with me to pick up beer, pick up a cake, pick up a new shower head (nonmasturbatorypurposesthankyou) and any other chore, or "chore", I can think up. I'll make shit up just to drive around with her.
Shes's somewhat possessive about the radio station but I'm cool with that as all I have to do is open up the window and her Pavlovian response is to instantly stick her head right out the window and, BAM, I change the channel to something I like.
"Damn you, predispositioned genetic response!" she immediately howls.
We then laugh and share a beer.
She steers while I provide the gas, of course.
To propel the vehicle, that is.
This isn't a fart joke.
How mature would that be?
Retard.
Star Wars?
Okay, fine, non-animal-appreciators.
Australian cattle dog? FINE.
I've always wanted an Australian Cattle Dog or an Australian Shepard because I fell in love with Mad Max's dog from The Road Warrior:
Now Max's dog is a cattle dog or a dingo hybrid and not a shepard but I love 'em both and the merle patterns slaaaaaay me. Are they THAt similar? Nope, cattle dogs are short-haired and look more like a red or blue heelers but I adore them both so here is an Australian Shepard:
And here is a picture of my Aussie, Kelly:
I'm now going right back to what the above picture entails and will provide more Star Wars when I can dig myself out from underneath the 40-pounds of furry love that smothers me on an all too regular basis as of late.
Eye<3ewe(Kelly),
Scotty
PS -
MAR 04, 2012 04:08 PM
Welcome Kelly!!!
She's lovely.
I'm so happy for the two of you.
One word of advice, from a dude who had an Aussie Shepherd as a slack (and I mean slack) assed high school dude . . .
Give
Her
a
JOB*
(yes, I know that's more of a phrase - - or even a sentence - - than a "word," but that's not the point.)
The point is:
don't let a working dog get bored.
Bored working dogs can be either destructive, or
[if left with non-frisbee playing, inattentive mothers when slack-ass high school students move off to college]
neurotic assholes.
You don't want a neurotic asshole for a dog.
Trust me.
____________________________________________________
* an excellent job is frisbee for an hour a day.
They excel at this job.
MAR 04, 2012 04:14 PM
MAR 04, 2012 04:17 PM
from the get go, Zeppelin was inclined to chase the frisbee,
and then murder it.
He got much better, to where he was an actual frisbee dog, and happy. And then I left.
When I came home, he had regressed to the point where, if he was off leash, or unrestrained, he'd chase down and murder
anything that moved 
MAR 04, 2012 04:27 PM
hell yea new dogs!!! she sounds awesome! I'm so bummed that Wally isn't a good copilot. he just cries Australian shepards are one of my favorites, my aunt has one, he's so fun! I love her bandana too!
MAR 04, 2012 06:28 PM
MAR 04, 2012 08:42 PM
MAR 05, 2012 04:37 AM
Congrats!! Sounds like a nice pairing -- you and the dog. And thanks for the SWS contributions as well!
MAR 05, 2012 04:51 PM
MAR 05, 2012 10:57 PM
Your dog is so cute!!!! I want to hug it's fluffy dog face!!!
Secondly...do men use shower heads for masturbation purposes??? I thought that was a female thing...guess it would feel good on certain areas.....anywho...that reminds me...I need to get a new shower head ....mine is standard at the moment.
