zedredhead

I'm BACK!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I was MIA, but! I just went through a lot of fucked up shit, but I am happy to say I am ready to come out of hiding!! Funniest shit ever, I'm at my house, just out of the shower, and one of my so-called best friends calls me to let me know he entered me into a bikini contest --- 30...
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Last night was CRAZY!! My friend came to get me, and on our way to the bar, he didn't use a turn signal and this dickhead cop pulled us over. He checked our records, and he told us he wanted to search the car because we have a "background in narcotics" (Ph.D motherfucker!!). So we got out, he checked our pockets, pulled everything out of...
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HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The best part of this story is that at the bottom there is a recipe for spicy chicken tacos..is it fucked that I think that's hilarious?!

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!!!!!!!! I have the most productive day, I put away all of the boxes and got my apartment together, cleaned, did laundry, AND gave both of my puppies, Mr. Atticus Mayhem and Izabella Chunk Muffinpants baths!! Phew!! Time to go fuckin rage to celebrate!!

Just had a conversation with my ex boyfriend..it really sucks telling someone you love so deeply to stop calling because it hurts too much. Siiiiiigh

I'm just waking up, and goodness Texas has some strange weather!! It was about 40 last night and today it is warm, sunny, and beautiful!! Motorcycle ride, anyone?

Great night tonight, I made $195 in 4 hours....looks like I'm not going to be defaulting on my student loans after all, woot!!

Why is it that you always want what you can't have? Such as my most recent ex, who is my soulmate in all ways except for the fact the he is a shameless flirt? He told me for his birthday he wants every girl in the room to wear vibrating panties that he has the control for, he wanted to fuck my manager when he...
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