Horror picks for gore-hounds and fraidy-cats.

I know what some of you are saying "I don't like horror movies, they're scary". Well here's some horror movies anyone can enjoy:

-Slither and/or Feast: These go together because they are the same kind of horror movie. Blood and guts, but no scares, strictly comedy. Slither stars "Firefly" lead hunk Nathan Fillon, Feast stars Henry Rollins. Either way, you win. (Can be found anywhere.)

-Blood and Doughnuts: A vampire wakes up after sleeping for a hundred years to find modern times to be bullshit. A waitress he meets tries to convince him not to kill himself. A dark comedy with no scary parts. (Might have to go to a real non-chain video store for this one.)

-Ravenous: If you haven't seen this, it's better you know as little as possible before watching it. Stars people you'll know when you see them. It's funny, but not a comedy. Some blood, but not too much for the average viewer. May be too extreme for hardcore pussies.(Can be found anywhere.)

-Possession and/or The Addiction: For the artsy crowd (or the towel under the door crowd), two surreal pictures with horror elements. Both are most certainly horror movies, but probably not what you're used to. Neither is fast paced, but if your looking for something you have to think about, I recommend these highly (especially Possession). (May have to hunt these down.)

-Soulkeeper: Imagine if "Weekend at Bernie's" had monsters in it. There you go. Much better than you think it is. (Blockbuster or equivalent should have it.)

-Creepies: The best bad movie I've seen in some time. The acting combined with the "special" effects equals hilarity. If you like that sort of thing, this is hard to beat. (Blockbuster or equivalent should have it.)

-Waxwork I or II: Guy from Gremlins runs through various worlds based on famous horror and sci-fi movies. They're funny and the first one has David Warner.

Horror picks for gore-hounds and fraidy-cats.

I know what some of you are saying "I don't like horror movies, they're scary". Well here's some horror movies anyone can enjoy:

-Slither and/or Feast: These go together because they are the same kind of horror movie. Blood and guts, but no scares, strictly comedy. Slither stars "Firefly" lead hunk Nathan Fillon, Feast stars Henry Rollins. Either way, you win. (Can be found anywhere.)

-Blood and Doughnuts: A vampire wakes up after sleeping for a hundred years to find modern times to be bullshit. A waitress he meets tries to convince him not to kill himself. A dark comedy with no scary parts. (Might have to go to a real non-chain video store for this one.)

-Ravenous: If you haven't seen this, it's better you know as little as possible before watching it. Stars people you'll know when you see them. It's funny, but not a comedy. Some blood, but not too much for the average viewer. May be too extreme for hardcore pussies.(Can be found anywhere.)

-Possession and/or The Addiction: For the artsy crowd (or the towel under the door crowd), two surreal pictures with horror elements. Both are most certainly horror movies, but probably not what you're used to. Neither is fast paced, but if your looking for something you have to think about, I recommend these highly (especially Possession). (May have to hunt these down.)

-Soulkeeper: Imagine if "Weekend at Bernie's" had monsters in it. There you go. Much better than you think it is. (Blockbuster or equivalent should have it.)

-Creepies: The best bad movie I've seen in some time. The acting combined with the "special" effects equals hilarity. If you like that sort of thing, this is hard to beat. (Blockbuster or equivalent should have it.)

-Waxwork I or II: Guy from Gremlins runs through various worlds based on famous horror and sci-fi movies. They're funny and the first one has David Warner. (Cheap to purchase, both on the same disc for nine bucks. Worth buying.)

-MirrorMask: Not a horror movie, but it's Halloween feeling as hell. "Labyrinth" mashed with "The Dark Crystal". Also done by Jim Henson's creature shop and sweet as fuck. Warning, the soundtrack towards the beginning is awful, but don't let it stop you. (Can be found almost anywhere.)



Now for those of you with balls (or girl-balls), here are some things for you:

-The Witch's Sabbath: Low budget, but surprisingly full of gore and awful fake breasts, a real treat for those who like it Troma style. (Blockbuster or equivalent should have it.)

-Live Feed: A "Hostel" knock off. Cheesy, but gory and unpleasant. Thankfully no rape, even though it seems like the kind of movie that would go there. I was pleased. (Blockbuster or equivalent should have it.)

-Below: Ghost story from the guy who made the "Pitch Black" movies. Creepy as hell. This may scare people very afraid of ghosts. (Found anywhere.)

-Phantasm II: Even if you haven't seen the first one, you will still enjoy this one. Great effects and gore. Watch them all if you have time, but for a quick action/gore fix, this is unbeatable. (Go to a real video store for this one.)

-Kairo (aka Pulse): Yeah, it's called "Pulse" here, but it ain't that American remake shit. Dark and depressing, but excellent. Contains the most realistic death I've seen in a movie. Also not for ghost haters. (Blockbuster.)

-Dark Water (American remake): I know what I just said, but this one is better than it's Japanese counterpart. Creepy and well acted. Some really incredible imagery. Ghost fearers beware. (Found anywhere.)

-The Toolbox Murders (Remake): Best thing Toby Hooper has done in years. Not amazing, but I liked the story and it's got the girl from "May" in it (a pick if you haven't seen it). Also some real gore. (Found anywhere.)

-Beyond Re-Animator: The third, but still awesome. Jeffery Combs and gore. A mouse and a re-animated penis fight. 'Nuff said. (Found anywhere.)

-Halloween: Resurrection: H2O sucked, but this one's much better. Busta Rhymes kung-fu fights Michael Myers and there's some gore. Decent overall. (Found anywhere.)