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APATHY
The dictionary defines apathy as one of two things: "the absence or suppression of passion or emotion" or "the lack of interest in or concern for things others find moving or exciting".
The second definition describes me to a perfect T. Yesterday I realized that my life in recent years has become a void of disconnection and indifference. All around me people are enjoying the lives they have, regardless of what it is, and I'm just going through the motions like I'm watching a slide show. A random question by a co-worker asking what do I do for fun was met with my honest and unhesitant answer of "nothing". The answer just flowed right out of me. The fact that it was 100% accurate was equally disturbing to me.
I've never been like this until recent years. It fueled the crumbling of my 8 year relationship, it's turned me into a judgmental and unsocialble jackass, and has paved the way for my anger to take center stage more often in recent years. All because I stopped genuinely caring. Ten years ago this was deffinetly not me. Hell not even five years ago. I need to do something about this.
If you took the time to read this any advice you may have and wish to give will be considered. Thank you.
APATHY
The dictionary defines apathy as one of two things: "the absence or suppression of passion or emotion" or "the lack of interest in or concern for things others find moving or exciting".
The second definition describes me to a perfect T. Yesterday I realized that my life in recent years has become a void of disconnection and indifference. All around me people are enjoying the lives they have, regardless of what it is, and I'm just going through the motions like I'm watching a slide show. A random question by a co-worker asking what do I do for fun was met with my honest and unhesitant answer of "nothing". The answer just flowed right out of me. The fact that it was 100% accurate was equally disturbing to me.
I've never been like this until recent years. It fueled the crumbling of my 8 year relationship, it's turned me into a judgmental and unsocialble jackass, and has paved the way for my anger to take center stage more often in recent years. All because I stopped genuinely caring. Ten years ago this was deffinetly not me. Hell not even five years ago. I need to do something about this.
If you took the time to read this any advice you may have and wish to give will be considered. Thank you.
The dictionary defines apathy as one of two things: "the absence or suppression of passion or emotion" or "the lack of interest in or concern for things others find moving or exciting".
The second definition describes me to a perfect T. Yesterday I realized that my life in recent years has become a void of disconnection and indifference. All around me people are enjoying the lives they have, regardless of what it is, and I'm just going through the motions like I'm watching a slide show. A random question by a co-worker asking what do I do for fun was met with my honest and unhesitant answer of "nothing". The answer just flowed right out of me. The fact that it was 100% accurate was equally disturbing to me.
I've never been like this until recent years. It fueled the crumbling of my 8 year relationship, it's turned me into a judgmental and unsocialble jackass, and has paved the way for my anger to take center stage more often in recent years. All because I stopped genuinely caring. Ten years ago this was deffinetly not me. Hell not even five years ago. I need to do something about this.
If you took the time to read this any advice you may have and wish to give will be considered. Thank you.