"My favorite thing about Dan is everything."

"Smarter, sexier, and cooler than you, Danny McDrinkingproblem is the best thing to happen to this ho-bag since Robert Anton Wilson. He's a little bit trashy and does this adorable finger-biting thing when he's drunk, is a great partner for both intellectual sparring and wrasslin' between the sheets, makes me laugh at least three times daily and has some of the purdiest eyes I've ever had the pleasure to stare meaningfully into. In short, oh golly, am I ever in love with this gorgeous genius motherfucker!

I'm sorry, was that over the top?

Because I could go on for days..."

"From one massive, mental wreck of a human to another, I salute you."

"Cracked up, StackedUpXXII,
psycho for sex and glue
don't know the rest of the words
ooh

This guy rules. He taught me how to do all the good things an older brother should teach his little sister, like how to drink and smoke and do drugs and dress like a ho. He plays the guitar "like whoah" as the kids say nowadays, and taught me how to do that a little too.

But he's sort of a re, kthx."