Last night I dreamed that I lived somewhere in London in a really swank apartment that had a sort of canal in the courtyard- very pretty, the whole thing overlooked the Thames. It was at night, and the city was lit up.

I went to the aquarium shop because I decided that I needed a fish for my canal- I ended up with this really mean looking, large silver fish with big eyes and a kind of bottle shaped nose. "Be careful, he's a little aggressive." the guy at the shop told me.

I brought him home, dumped him in the water, and sure enough, he immediately started to swim around furiously...after a few seconds he jumped at lightning speed out of the water and bounced off my apartment window with resonant thud. I immediately thought, "Oh no, what have I got myself into?" The fish continued to swim back and forth at alarming speed.

A woman who was supposedly my girlfriend, a naked, rather large blonde woman, came home and greeted me with a kiss. "Did you get the fish?", she asked. "yeah", I said, "but I don't know about him- he seems a little intense." She looked over and caught a glimpse of the fish jumping out of the water and rapidly swimming away. "Huh", she said. "what do we feed him?"

I realized I hadn't thought about that. I shrugged and said, "I dunno? Bacon?" She suddenly became gleeful and exclaimed, "Yay! We'll call him Sir Francis Bacon!" She squealed, "Bacon for short!" She became deliriously giddy with excitement and started repeating, "BACON! BACON! BACON! BACON! BACON!" Right at the climax of her chant, seemingly out of nowhere, the fish leaped out of the water and struck her right in the forehead at full speed, knocking her flat on her back.

After a moment, we both started laughing hysterically, tears rolling down our faces.

The rest of the dream consisted of us walking around London, visiting random places- every once and a while she would shout, "BACON! BACON! BACON! BACON! BACON!", and the fish would fly from around a corner, out of a fountain, from out of a sewer drain, and smack someone full force upside the head, to our endless amusement.

I woke up laughing.