Well 2 weeks ago my dad died, I found out 11 days ago after the coroners office called. There were only 2 people who could make the final decisions about his death, and only one would do it. Since this is some what of a place where people aren't going to judge me I can finally say what I feel. My dad is dead, i'm somewhat glad about it. I get a lot of closure for things that happened when I was a kid that made my life a living hell. I went through things other kids didn't have to because he chose to make other things in his life more important than his kids. As terrible as he was he was probably the most supportive person in my life. Everything I touched was absolute gold to him. Every song I wrote and played, every time he would show my music off to his friends, every time I got a ribbon of medal from running, it was the best day of his life. So here I am 24 years old, seeing my dad for the first time in 3 years(in the form of his ashes) left wondering if I should have contacted him, if the final straw in our relationship was really worth knowing that he died alone. I can spend the day with friends that will support me or a girlfriend that won't understand, or be selfless enough to care, why should I be asking myself this question on a day with all of this going through my head?

Well 2 weeks ago my dad died, I found out 11 days ago after the coroners office called. There were only 2 people who could make the final decisions about his death, and only one would do it. Since this is some what of a place where people aren't going to judge me I can finally say what I feel. My dad is dead, i'm somewhat glad about it. I get a lot of closure for things that happened when I was a kid that made my life a living hell. I went through things other kids didn't have to because he chose to make other things in his life more important than his kids. As terrible as he was he was probably the most supportive person in my life. Everything I touched was absolute gold to him. Every song I wrote and played, every time he would show my music off to his friends, every time I got a ribbon of medal from running, it was the best day of his life. So here I am 24 years old, seeing my dad for the first time in 3 years(in the form of his ashes) left wondering if I should have contacted him, if the final straw in our relationship was really worth knowing that he died alone. I can spend the day with friends that will support me or a girlfriend that won't understand, or be selfless enough to care, why should I be asking myself this question on a day with all of this going through my head?