the_minx

We (my mother and I) found out where my father is, easily, in the course of one hour. All those years searching seem like wasted energy when it really only took brains and little effort.

I've never met my father. He was around before my mother left him when I was one, but of course I don't remember (nor does my sister).

For a long time now (about the past 5 years) I've had a huge desire to meet him. I feel it will give me huge closure to the part of my life of growing up without a dad, but honestly I'm in such a surreal mood, I'm not sure how it's going to affect me. I'm having a pleathora of emotions infesting my body, mind, heart and soul all at once. I actually have to go lay down because of all this.

I found out he is now a quadrapaledgic (sp?). I'm not sure how long ago it happened, but he fell off of a roof while doing construction work apparently and broke his back.

We were able to locate him through his brother who had an unsual name and was the only one listed with that name. I'm a genious sometimes.

My fathers mother (my other biological grandmother) recently died of pnemonia. Both blood grandmothers have died before I could meet them, which makes me very sad. (My mom and dad's mother's). They all saw me when I was born, but of course again, I don't remember.

(Updates of all my father's side of the family I have not yet met):

My uncle Chris is in Prison for murder.

My aunt Dee Dee is dead because she was shot by her boyfriend.

My Aunt Claudia is nowhere to be found.

My uncle Mike lives in California but we aren't sure where.

My uncle Claude still lives in Texas...

And Aunt Dee Dee's daughter, cousin Sarah, is still alive but we don't know where she is either. She would be 24 right now.

and apparently my father is located in Lebanon, Indiana. We have his phone number and we are waiting for a call back.

I think with the health conditions he's under it might make him feel great to see his two daughters. although I'm not sure yet if I have other siblings.

I want him to call. I want to go see him. I want to tell him about my life and see his daughter grown into a woman. He wasn't there (not by his choice) but I still feel this huge attachment to him. After all he chose my name...not my sister's.

I'm so nervous. And now I have managed to add yet another HUGE thing to my reality plate...so don't mind me if I slightly dissapear for a while.

My life could possibly take yet another huge turn very quickly depending on how things go.

Wish me luck. I need it.