"The Trooper rocks harder than crack cocaine.. and thats some hard rock! WooOoOoO!"

"Dude, like five girls just stopped by my house and were like "Oh my gosh! TheTrooper has the biggest wang in the whole world and he gives us instant orgasms!" So, if you're a girl you need to stop by and see TheTrooper for free instant orgasms and hard-rocking metal action. Also, he rules and stuff!"

"Yeay! He's the best! The bestest in the westest! Yeay!"