Don't make me come over there.
c m r ducks?
m r not ducks.
o s m r. c m r wings?
l i b! m r ducks!
Fucked if I ain't tellin' the truth. Today I called this guy a mother fucker. Then he introduced me to his girlfriends daughter. I think I may have laughed my fucking ass off. My universe is wrapped in fever dreams. I saw concentric circles spinning ponderously about one another. Yo mamma is a SHREW!!! My shoelaces do NOT come untied!!! PREACH!! (I done slipped in pig fat today) Riddle me this, mother fucker, I called a kitten a cat and then made it into a shoe! (I done slipped in pig fat today) She loves goats, so I touched her butt.
Have you whacked off and picked your nose today?
c m r ducks?
m r not ducks.
o s m r. c m r wings?
l i b! m r ducks!
Fucked if I ain't tellin' the truth. Today I called this guy a mother fucker. Then he introduced me to his girlfriends daughter. I think I may have laughed my fucking ass off. My universe is wrapped in fever dreams. I saw concentric circles spinning ponderously about one another. Yo mamma is a SHREW!!! My shoelaces do NOT come untied!!! PREACH!! (I done slipped in pig fat today) Riddle me this, mother fucker, I called a kitten a cat and then made it into a shoe! (I done slipped in pig fat today) She loves goats, so I touched her butt.
Have you whacked off and picked your nose today?
Hello kids.
I've been offline for a while. Did you know that if you don't pay your phone bill, Bellsouth won't let you call people? It's insane! However, I seem to be struggling my way back up from destitution and my phone service has been returned. Now, if only I could get my credit card reactivated!
And maybe even pull my credit record out of the toilet!
Be that as it may. I just noticed my service had returned, so I thought I'd drop a line to all my little angels here at SG. Don't you feel warm and fuzzy? Maybe I'll be back later and write a bit more. For now, a bottle of whiskey is impatiently screaming my name.
I've been offline for a while. Did you know that if you don't pay your phone bill, Bellsouth won't let you call people? It's insane! However, I seem to be struggling my way back up from destitution and my phone service has been returned. Now, if only I could get my credit card reactivated!
And maybe even pull my credit record out of the toilet!
Be that as it may. I just noticed my service had returned, so I thought I'd drop a line to all my little angels here at SG. Don't you feel warm and fuzzy? Maybe I'll be back later and write a bit more. For now, a bottle of whiskey is impatiently screaming my name.
FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!!!
Well, y'know, sort of cool anyway. What's sort of cool? Hardly a damn thing. I'm flat broke. Thank god I have a job. I am eating egg rolls. Fancy mixed nuts are good for the soul. My happiness feels like a seizure. I'm all twitchy and I make funny noises. I drool. I shit. I squabble with the chickens. I have invented a time of sobriety. I have done this by spending all of my money. Now I cannot afford liquid amusement. I WILL BECOME LIKE UNTO YO MAMMY!!! Please to send whiskey? I guess I'll just have to start writing again. To be honest, I would rather remain silent and stoned. Boredom will force it out of me. I freak out pretty badly when I get bored.
But someday, we will be. It has already begun.
Well, y'know, sort of cool anyway. What's sort of cool? Hardly a damn thing. I'm flat broke. Thank god I have a job. I am eating egg rolls. Fancy mixed nuts are good for the soul. My happiness feels like a seizure. I'm all twitchy and I make funny noises. I drool. I shit. I squabble with the chickens. I have invented a time of sobriety. I have done this by spending all of my money. Now I cannot afford liquid amusement. I WILL BECOME LIKE UNTO YO MAMMY!!! Please to send whiskey? I guess I'll just have to start writing again. To be honest, I would rather remain silent and stoned. Boredom will force it out of me. I freak out pretty badly when I get bored.
But someday, we will be. It has already begun.
HANDCREAM!!! Splody fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Yup.
I am officially losing my mind again. Why can't I stop this from happening? I get a month or two of comfort and clarity and then WHAM! I'm spinning off though some hallucinatory rosebush screaming, clenching and grinding my teeth, shaking my head hard to spill out some of what's happening and slow down the process so I don't lose my grip. WHAT'S MY FUCKING NAME??? I done ate your cheese. I have an optimistic interpretation of this process. What suffers is my surface mind. The not-me which I use as an interactive interface for living, through which I percieve and feel. As it suffers, so do I. We are bound together in this time and place, my anchor and I. I spend a couple months gathering information, and then I spend a while forcibly transforming the not-me in accordance with this new data. I am not a gentle lover, though my love is divine in it's everlasting. Yo momma IS a combat boot!! I start the transformation very conciously (though many of my triggers are pre-programmed) but once it starts I feel like I'm out of control, and it hurts. I want to break everything around me and rebuild it unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Burning.
I am officially losing my mind again. Why can't I stop this from happening? I get a month or two of comfort and clarity and then WHAM! I'm spinning off though some hallucinatory rosebush screaming, clenching and grinding my teeth, shaking my head hard to spill out some of what's happening and slow down the process so I don't lose my grip. WHAT'S MY FUCKING NAME??? I done ate your cheese. I have an optimistic interpretation of this process. What suffers is my surface mind. The not-me which I use as an interactive interface for living, through which I percieve and feel. As it suffers, so do I. We are bound together in this time and place, my anchor and I. I spend a couple months gathering information, and then I spend a while forcibly transforming the not-me in accordance with this new data. I am not a gentle lover, though my love is divine in it's everlasting. Yo momma IS a combat boot!! I start the transformation very conciously (though many of my triggers are pre-programmed) but once it starts I feel like I'm out of control, and it hurts. I want to break everything around me and rebuild it unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Unrecognizable. Burning.
Oh my god my world is ending. Wait, what? Fuck that. I'm having a BALL!! Did I tell you folks I drive a cop car now? It's a retired highway patrol car (crown victoria) which I got at a police auction for a fiew grand. It runs great, kicks ass, makes the people in front of me slow down, and eats dinosaurs like you wouldn't believe. I haven't been able to name it yet. Previous car names are as follows: Evil Weevil, Armadillo Gang Fuck, and Dumpster. Dumpster is still out on the lawn making a brown spot in the grass and staring evilly at my much nicer new cop car. I'm going to get a spot light and stalk security at my old campus. Those guys were an eternal pain in my ass. The car seems to have killed my anti-cop mojo. I see them everywhere now. But now I'm one of them. 
I spent $140 dollars on my last goddamn bar tab (two weeks). Want to come have me buy you drinks? It just so happens that I'm way too friendly. Having a discount always does this to me. The hot new bartending lady with the sexy Georgia accent isn't helping. The guy who knows how to make a martini just the way I like it isn't helping either.
Me gonna go see the Mountain Goats in Durham something like a month from now (or something). Fuck you guys! I'm gonna try to take my favorite goat farming lady with me. Isn't that cute?
Sushi and whiskey for dinner!
I spent $140 dollars on my last goddamn bar tab (two weeks). Want to come have me buy you drinks? It just so happens that I'm way too friendly. Having a discount always does this to me. The hot new bartending lady with the sexy Georgia accent isn't helping. The guy who knows how to make a martini just the way I like it isn't helping either.
Me gonna go see the Mountain Goats in Durham something like a month from now (or something). Fuck you guys! I'm gonna try to take my favorite goat farming lady with me. Isn't that cute?
Sushi and whiskey for dinner!
I went to a party the other day. It was sort of a dull party, but there were some very interesting women lurking amidst the others so I decided to hone my impeccable woman impressing technologies. Do you want to know how many of these selected women gave me their very close attention (non-sexual, you jerks. I'm saving myself at the moment)? All of them! FIVE!!! Plus a sixth whom I never intended! MY EGO IS BOOSTED!!!! I AM ALL POWERFUL!!! Anyway, still nothing with the woman I'm actually looking for. She's being difficult to locate, but I know what's got her busy (I'm a skillful stalker and I gather my info well) and as soon as I knew what it was I realized she would be damn hard to locate for a fiew weeks. That will work itself out.
In other news, I'm making good money and having entirely too much fun (which simply means that I'm hurting my wallet a bit). I feel like a lightning bug plugged into the sun. I feel like a whole swarm of locusts eating everything you ever saw. Life is GOOD!
Tell me a story of your rampaging.
In other news, I'm making good money and having entirely too much fun (which simply means that I'm hurting my wallet a bit). I feel like a lightning bug plugged into the sun. I feel like a whole swarm of locusts eating everything you ever saw. Life is GOOD!
Tell me a story of your rampaging.
She comes back from the goat farm soon! I have been vigorously practicing my woman wooing technologies on all available women. Some have swooned, many have been amused, a fiew have been utterly unimpressed. In which form shall my favorite goat milking lady friend manifest? Send me your prayers, friends, or send me your dollars. If she does love me not, I shall wank my jilted willy into oblivion where it shall drink of the milk of doves (doves don't milk) and pass forever into and out of the soft passages which are the very arteries of God. Repent, sinners, for I shall overwhelm you with my overwhelmingly overwhelming sex appeal.
BOO!!! Gotcha!
My new job is as good as could be hoped for. I'm a prep cook at a very cool place, working with good people, making good pay (buying bling, of course). I can't complain.
I've added an aim account, so you may now talk to me in real time if you feel excited to do so. Won't that be amazing?
Women are trying to eat my brain lately. Gratifying.
Otherwise, not much worth mentioning.
My new job is as good as could be hoped for. I'm a prep cook at a very cool place, working with good people, making good pay (buying bling, of course). I can't complain.
I've added an aim account, so you may now talk to me in real time if you feel excited to do so. Won't that be amazing?
Women are trying to eat my brain lately. Gratifying.
Otherwise, not much worth mentioning.
How can I stop being such a complete goddamn misanthrope? This game is getting old. I have things to do, and the sick feeling I get in my stomach whenever I consider going out amongst human kind keeps me at home. I was at a bar yesterday, a pair of friends dragged me there against my will. The people there were physically disgusting (aside from the bartender. He was great.). One of the friends I was there with, a small and curvy woman, actually asked me to play big and tough for her so the multitude of nasty fuckers would leave her alone. I was born to be a viking so I do that job well, but the poor girl attracts sleaze like sharks to blood. I told her she should be less friendly, that she should go ahead and be a jerk like me, but some people don't want to live like that y'know? I can't blame her. She had more fun than I did, and doesn't feel sick at the thought of going out amongst whomever. That's a good thing. I do keep trying, but it seems to get worse almost every time. Sometimes I find good places to go and I go back to those places again and again, but most people just make me fucking sick. I can't escape the thought that the world would be better off if they choked on their own bile. I don't like thinking this way. I've got things to do, and a life to enjoy. I need to find a way to maginalize the idiots and assholes so they don't matter to me. Any advice?
I'm still waiting on that damn job, the hiring manager is still getting around to fireing the guy I'm going to replace. The porn store down the road is hiring, so if he doesn't hire me damn soon I'm going to apply there. Maybe tomorrow.
Tom Waits puts on one hell of a show, and I am more lucky than all of you.
I have a creepy plan for subtly altering the course of the world's future. I won't tell you how it works although, for the record, it does not involve violence of any kind so don't go reporting me to homeland security. Just grip strongly onto a renewed ray of hope in the knowledge that some wacko somewhere has a secret plan to make the world a better place to live in.
Send in the clowns, ladies and gents, we WILL reach that other side!
Tom Waits puts on one hell of a show, and I am more lucky than all of you.
I have a creepy plan for subtly altering the course of the world's future. I won't tell you how it works although, for the record, it does not involve violence of any kind so don't go reporting me to homeland security. Just grip strongly onto a renewed ray of hope in the knowledge that some wacko somewhere has a secret plan to make the world a better place to live in.
Send in the clowns, ladies and gents, we WILL reach that other side!
