Returned to working sales at the dildo shop almost a year ago now, and I'm feeling like I never quit... I wish I never had, both the store and my wallet would've been better off for it. I felt like I needed more time to focus on my education and my house when I quit in '06, but I could've stayed part-time, maintained my sanity, and raked in some income rather than leaning on the stock market like I did for so long. Alas, I needed the break, and at the time the store had hired a buncha douchebags and hood rats I hated. And besides, I deserved those six years of semi-retirement... I did use them wisely.
When I first came back, I had returned to a wasteland. The place had become a shell of its' former self, and workin behind that counter felt like holding a dying person's hand. But as I held this place's dying hand, I realized what I had left behind, and it healed me. I have a feeling I may also have healed the store back to healthier functionality, if I do say so myself. It kinda needed me, just like I needed it. This place was my home for three years. I made lots of friends here. I'm also good at my job.
We had a really incompetent staff when I returned, and the store had almost zero foot traffic. They were only able to pay me a little over minimum wage, almost four bucks less than what I was earning when I left. The shelves were sparse, and I had to be real creative to make them look fuller. But what little customers did come in, I sold something to, nine times outta ten. My retail kung fu was like riding a bike. The dongs, plugs, lubes, rubbers, whips, chains and DVD's just grew wings and flew off the racks. We're not out of the wilderness yet, but we're making money again. And I'm making better hourly wages.
I couldn't really go back to regular retail after working this job. The way you have to think and act is completely different. Here, there are no uniforms or nametags. The customer isn't always...
Returned to working sales at the dildo shop almost a year ago now, and I'm feeling like I never quit... I wish I never had, both the store and my wallet would've been better off for it. I felt like I needed more time to focus on my education and my house when I quit in '06, but I could've stayed part-time, maintained my sanity, and raked in some income rather than leaning on the stock market like I did for so long. Alas, I needed the break, and at the time the store had hired a buncha douchebags and hood rats I hated. And besides, I deserved those six years of semi-retirement... I did use them wisely.
When I first came back, I had returned to a wasteland. The place had become a shell of its' former self, and workin behind that counter felt like holding a dying person's hand. But as I held this place's dying hand, I realized what I had left behind, and it healed me. I have a feeling I may also have healed the store back to healthier functionality, if I do say so myself. It kinda needed me, just like I needed it. This place was my home for three years. I made lots of friends here. I'm also good at my job.
We had a really incompetent staff when I returned, and the store had almost zero foot traffic. They were only able to pay me a little over minimum wage, almost four bucks less than what I was earning when I left. The shelves were sparse, and I had to be real creative to make them look fuller. But what little customers did come in, I sold something to, nine times outta ten. My retail kung fu was like riding a bike. The dongs, plugs, lubes, rubbers, whips, chains and DVD's just grew wings and flew off the racks. We're not out of the wilderness yet, but we're making money again. And I'm making better hourly wages.
I couldn't really go back to regular retail after working this job. The way you have to think and act is completely different. Here, there are no uniforms or nametags. The customer isn't always right... in fact, they're usually wrong about every fucking thing, and your job is less about kissing people's ass, than it is about educating people. Yes, you read that right. I educate people about their bodies, and about safe sex. To me, a lot of what is just common sense in this shop is a whole other universe to other people. I get a lot of dumb questions and inquiries that are hard not to roll my eyes at ("what's the best vibrator?" "What items do YOU use?" ... Anyone? Anyone?!!!!). There are also other, more understandable misconceptions people have regarding sex toys and BDSM stuff. I'm a good salesman, and generally very helpful to my customers, in a non-creepy and unintimidating way. People tend to be VERY self-conscious when they walk in, and part of my job is making sure they are comfortable. Within reason...
The main thing I like about my job, honestly, above alll else, is the number of opportunities I have to say "NO" to people. We have a LOT of rules here, and I've learned to enjoy enforcing them. There are little rules, like no food or drink, no photography is allowed in the store, you can't open stuff or try things on for the most part, and the BDSM section of the store is roped off so you need to be accompanied by a salesperson. I get to be assertive and domineering with people who act like idiots, and I can kick people out for being douchebags. I particularly love telling off the idiots who try to bring babies into the store. Every job I had in the past made me kiss breeder ass, and I fucking hated it. Not here. I can't even let you walk in the store if you are under 18. Not dealing kids is one of the percs of my job. Some people argue with me... most frequently the discussion is as follows:
ME: "I'm sorry, but we don't allow children in the store"
BREEDER:"OH, MY GAWD, GIMME A BREAK, IT'S JUST A BABY, SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE'S SEEING!!!!!"
ME: "You say that now, but when she goes into therapy 20 years from now and has a flashback to the day you parked her stroller in the dick pump section, you'll thank me. NOW GET OUT."- It's even more fun kicking out unaccompanied minors.
I can be myself here. I don't have to dress a certain way or cut my hair, I just let my freak flag fly. When I worked here years ago, I had blue hair and eyebrows. I would wear T-shirts that said "FUCK OFF, I HAVE ENOUGH FRIENDS", or "FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKIN' FUCK", or whatever other hilariously vulgar shirts we sold. There's nothing like walking around in D.C's richest neighborhood with a shirt that says " I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK."
There are definitely pros and cons to my line of work. You deal with a good share of creeps, a lot of retards come in to apply for work, and there's no upward mobility at all. If I didn't already have money coming in elsewhere, this job would be useless. The industry has long since gone online, and there is little demand for brick & mortar shops. But I'm glad to be employed one way or the other, especially in a line of work where I'm selling vibrators to hot college girls and lonely suburban women. I'll definitely keep it until I finish school.
When I first came back, I had returned to a wasteland. The place had become a shell of its' former self, and workin behind that counter felt like holding a dying person's hand. But as I held this place's dying hand, I realized what I had left behind, and it healed me. I have a feeling I may also have healed the store back to healthier functionality, if I do say so myself. It kinda needed me, just like I needed it. This place was my home for three years. I made lots of friends here. I'm also good at my job.
We had a really incompetent staff when I returned, and the store had almost zero foot traffic. They were only able to pay me a little over minimum wage, almost four bucks less than what I was earning when I left. The shelves were sparse, and I had to be real creative to make them look fuller. But what little customers did come in, I sold something to, nine times outta ten. My retail kung fu was like riding a bike. The dongs, plugs, lubes, rubbers, whips, chains and DVD's just grew wings and flew off the racks. We're not out of the wilderness yet, but we're making money again. And I'm making better hourly wages.
I couldn't really go back to regular retail after working this job. The way you have to think and act is completely different. Here, there are no uniforms or nametags. The customer isn't always...