[YOUTUBE]http://youtu.be/5pidokakU4I[/YOUTUBE]
nice right?

anytime i feel a pain in a certain area, i hit the area to numb the pain. lately i've started feeling pains more often. i'm starting to wonder if i'm imagining the pain because i have unconscience masochistic tendancies.

sometimes i feel like i'll never catch the train. i'm always either too early or too late. and i never get a refund.

i can't seem to stand my coworkers anymore.

the first one is very dense mother of 5 who thinks i find her attractive and seems to think she can coast through work. she asks me the same fucking questions over and over again concerning day one material and gets a dumbfounded look when i answer & accuses me of never teaching her (even though she's taken notes on everything and supposedly reviews every week). today she pissed me off when she had her eyes closed while she was explaining how it's my fault she's unable to understand her job. i hate people who do the whole eyes closed bit. it's condescending and childish. plus, i don't think i can like a person who thought norbit was a way funnier movie than clerks.

the other motherfucker is an over-exaggerating drama queen from hell. he's the kind of asshole that has to be right all the time nigh infallible. he has daily tantrums over trivial things ranging from a slow computer to the weather. since i've started working there, five people quit primarily because of his attitude. one time he blamed me for his fuck up and i got so incensed my vision blurred for moment (my fault, i don't know how express my anger so i internalize).

i should quit. but it's not so easy in these uncertain times. especially with mortgage. ah hell.

is it weird that i can't listening to eddie money's "two tickets to paradise"?

what did happen to the white dog poo from the '70s?

had a dream where i'm limping down an empty suburban street. blood's dripping down my left side. and i'm holding a gun in my right hand. all the while the yeah, yeah, yeahs' " maps" is playing. i keep telling myself, "just a few more blocks to go. can't let it end yet." i finally make it to a rented out rec center where a party is taking place. i have a friend a the front door that waves me in ahead of the surrounding crowd. he tells me, she's been waiting for you a couple of hours." she's sitting in a corner trying not to cry. we meet in the middle of the dance floor and embrace. we stay this way for a while. the song still plays. then the room empties out. we turn to see the entrance knowing what's about to happen. we hold each other closer. all there's left is a barrage of loud blasts & flcikering light and the song ending with it's twitling guitar strings.

can anyone really resist the funk? after all, it's so wide you can't get around it. it's so low you can't get under it. and let's not forget, it's so high you can't get over it.

she was there to meet me. i had a room set up. there was a party. she seemed repulsed by me. we walk into the room to find two women having sex. she joins in. i try to get involved but can tell i'm not wanted. i go to the party to get fruit salad. i returned to the room after they were finished. i sat next to her and shared my salad. we have a long conversation about life & work. we seem to get each other. towards the end of the conversation, she says, "i don't know if i should give you a hug or let you suck my tit." i say, "either way i'll be happy. it's good to have a new friend to talk to." she smiles and can tell i mean it. she stands up, takes me by the hand and leads me out of the room. end.