sweetnepenthe

*I like long walks on the beach (weather permitting. or not. it's the fucking beach for christ's sake!)
*I enjoy whispering sweet nothings into someone's ear (usually something that will make them blush)
*I absolutely love picnics.
*I have a soft spot for animals, and do anything I can to be kind to them (i.e.: saving that little spider I found at work and taking him outside when everyone just wanted to kill it)
*I love to cook for people whenever I can (however I can only make about 3 or 4 different things, but dammit I make them GOOD!)
*Taking a walk in the woods is the best remedy for a stressful, irritating day. And I do this often!
*I love making people smile, but I refuse to sacrifice my happiness to do so. I will learn to be content in whatever I do for someone, even if it is less than thrilling to me.
*I treat my pets like children. Not because I am lonely and a freak, but simply because I think they deserve respect and care, just like human beings.
*I find beauty in every person, even if I really can't stand them. Just the fact that they are alive and breathing is enough for me to have respect. Living isn't easy, and yet so many of us survive.
*I am not weakened or bothered by failure. It reminds me of my mortality, reminds me that time and life are precious things, and we must learn from ourselves and our experiences in order to evolve emotionally, spiritually.
*I am not a Christian. I am a spiritual person, yet I do not believe in any specific religion's god(s), I have my own thoughts and beliefs that are unique to me and me alone. This is why I cannot be religious. It is far too close-minded for me, and I am a firm believer in expanding knowledge and belief. Religion, to me, is too finite.
*I am a hopeless romantic, and yet I refuse to take relationships too seriously. I am young, and as much as I dream of finding a "soul mate", I realize that people can have more than one true love. dating, however stressful it may be is always full of at least a few good moments worth remembering in old age. As with everyone I meet and become close with, I remember each relationship, romantic or not, as something positive and worth growing from.
*I am, contrary to popular belief, a happy person. I go through periods of self doubt, self loathing, and struggle. I realize that with my illness I won't always be able to be a carefree adult. However, even though I will be sick for the rest of my life, I don't look upon my disease as something to be angry at. I look at is as something that sets me apart from many people, something that has made me unbelievably strong emotionally, and has enabled me to be full of endurance and hope. I refuse to complain about my illness, and I refuse to let it conquer me.
*I have little patience for people who complain about trivial matters, about money, about relationships, about how crappy their favorite sports team played last season, about how "fat" they are getting, etc. These things are so meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Sure, we all have our days when things just don't go our way and the world seems to be against us. But get over it. Life goes on, and if you can't handle it, step aside and give others more room to breathe. The world would be a more pleasant, no doubt peaceful place, with less complainers and worriers. We wouldn't have wars like we do. Less dirty politics. Less hate crimes. Less inequality. And more... life. Life as it was meant to be lived. Free of worry and scare.
*I am somewhat disappointed that I haven't really found someone who feels the same way I do. I realize that it is damn near impossible for someone to think exactly as I do about so many things. I'm not going to let this fact bother me. I just know that I would love to have a companion who feels like I do, at least a little bit. Someone I can have intelligent conversations with, but who can also have fun and be wild and crazy with me. Someone who, at the end of the day, I can say I love. Someone who will lie in bed with me and let me hold them close. I'm ready for all of that. I'm just not sure if I'm ready to go through more heartbreak to find that just yet.

~Nichelle~

P.S. thank you everyone who took the time to read this.



(Lake Geneva at sunset)