Just turned 21 as of yesterday. I think I'd be more excited if I haven't been cultivating cirrhosis of the liver since the age of 13, but it was still pretty cool. Went to a show at the Middle East on the 26th and got the coveted "I'm no longer under 21" wristband at midnight. Bought lots of drinks, received lots of drinks and kind words.
Small party yesterday with some friends, finally spilled my guts to that special someone. She wasn't quite as enthused as I was and proved the suspicion I had about being absolutely terrible at picking up signals and such. Just as well, I feel a lot better that she knows. We hugged and parted ways, and I feel closer than before.
I don't want to get all emo, though I guess here it doesn't matter since no one reads this thing (which is my modus operandi for prattling on...) but I'm a little bit hurt by it. It's a weird sort of hollow feeling, since I'm now hiding nothing from her. We talked for a good half hour or so and I poured it all out in a nervous sort of last confession before the electric chair type of thing. Explained all the mixed signals that I had received and she complimented my astuteness in totally interpreting things the way I wanted to. She understood the connections though. I even fessed up that she was the reason I had quit smoking, which I'm pretty sure she liked hearing.
In the end, we're still friends. I told her to consider my proposition. There was so much more I could have said, though not regretfully. I thankfully left out the part about Xmas mornings and arguing over what to buy her parents and siblings for gifts; starter homes and joint back accounts. Stalker stuff essentially, the kind of things best omitted when dropping an already colossal bomb and dropping my shields as I had.
Forgive my horrible paragraph structure and continuity, I blame ADHD. I think I'm about done with this topic though. The anonymity of this blog and the fact that no one reads what I write here helps. Feels good to get it off my chest, as it did last night. If anyone does by chance catch this, let me know I'm not the only one who has gone through this so I don't feel like I'm crazy. I'm going to get back to my homework and white russian. Thanks for reading, or not.
Small party yesterday with some friends, finally spilled my guts to that special someone. She wasn't quite as enthused as I was and proved the suspicion I had about being absolutely terrible at picking up signals and such. Just as well, I feel a lot better that she knows. We hugged and parted ways, and I feel closer than before.
I don't want to get all emo, though I guess here it doesn't matter since no one reads this thing (which is my modus operandi for prattling on...) but I'm a little bit hurt by it. It's a weird sort of hollow feeling, since I'm now hiding nothing from her. We talked for a good half hour or so and I poured it all out in a nervous sort of last confession before the electric chair type of thing. Explained all the mixed signals that I had received and she complimented my astuteness in totally interpreting things the way I wanted to. She understood the connections though. I even fessed up that she was the reason I had quit smoking, which I'm pretty sure she liked hearing.
In the end, we're still friends. I told her to consider my proposition. There was so much more I could have said, though not regretfully. I thankfully left out the part about Xmas mornings and arguing over what to buy her parents and siblings for gifts; starter homes and joint back accounts. Stalker stuff essentially, the kind of things best omitted when dropping an already colossal bomb and dropping my shields as I had.
Forgive my horrible paragraph structure and continuity, I blame ADHD. I think I'm about done with this topic though. The anonymity of this blog and the fact that no one reads what I write here helps. Feels good to get it off my chest, as it did last night. If anyone does by chance catch this, let me know I'm not the only one who has gone through this so I don't feel like I'm crazy. I'm going to get back to my homework and white russian. Thanks for reading, or not.