So, I had this dream the other night about the male doctor at our practice. Ya know, the guy who's my frigging boss. And while I don't remember much about it, I do know that today I went in and totally wanted to make out with him. Along with the myriad other problems with this particular scenario, he is approximately three inches shorter than me.

Today was my kid's birthday. My husband stayed home from work so they could spend the day with his parents, who drove my insane from yesterday evening until they left around 3. But she had a nice day, and we came home and had birthday cake with my parents and took her out on her new tricycle. It's going to be weird not living around here.

Ohmyfuggingawd, I'm so stressed. I have totally been dragging my feet with packing, and now I have ten days left and no time to do it. I'm overwhelmed, so I don't know where to start or what to do. Not to mention that I'm the schedule twice thje amount I've been in the past. Yay for full-time and all, but non-yay for starting it before July fifth (the day I return to work after the move.) Does anyone have any advice?

Anger_frog is leaving us, and that saddens me.

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An Open Letter To Those Who Attempt to Break Into My Car To Find Money For Crack:

Please remember that busting apart the center console isn't really worth the effort if you can't figure out how to remove the stereo. And thank you for not damaging my Distillers CD in the process.

Next time, maybe you should take the title of the car that I foolishly kept in the glove box. That way, you can take the car and sell it to a dealership. Not that many dealerships would want my 1991 Lumina, but at least you could try.

I hope that you get alot of money for my 6-pack of Diet Pepsi and my Clorox 2 laundry detergent, and my husband's scratched-up Busta Rhymes CD.

Even though you didn't get much from rifling through my personal belongings, it still skeeves me out that you touched things that I own, and had your grimy paws on my kid's car seat. I don't know what your assorted problems are, but I hope one day you find relief from them. Until that time, I hope you enjoyed the bloody tampon that you found under the passenger seat.

Sincerely,
Squiddy

PS-- I've never been so glad that I forgot to throw something gross out.

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Reason #867 That I Am Glad To Be Leaving: Last Wednesday, I was taking the car to get a new muffler, and I saw some guy behind me in a BMW beating the shit out of a woman in the front seat next to him. A cop car drove right by, was five feet away, and didn't do a thing, yet a month ago had no problem pulling my husband over and writing him tickets totalling $400 dollars for having a broken taillight and expried inspection. These are the same cops who think it's perfectly perfect to let 15 year old kids have access to firearms while working unattended in the local ice cream shop, but can't be bothered to respond to my 911 call at 3 in the morning when someone was trying to break into my neighbor's house.


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I got an email today from one of the guys from my favorite TV show Crabbing vessels rock my world.

Does anyone want to buy me "Holy Roller" by The Reverend Horton Heat? I'll make it worth your while, perhaps with brownies.

Oh, yesterday we drove out to show the in-laws our new town, and we saw a genuine Baptist tent meeting. I was shocked and awed.