sonofapunk

Disclaimer: This is only going here because I just had a wicked conversation with a friend that would double as a gnarly short-scene. And I thought it was funny enough to share. And I'm too lazy to write in my Director's-Book right now so here goes!

"Hey dude, are you willing to pay twelve bucks to see DragonForce on the twefth?"

"No. They're lame."

"Fuck you. Elaborate. Now."

"They just play scales, really fast. It's lame and they trick dumb people into liking them."

"Dude, who fucking cares if they play 'just scales'. Who cares HOW they play?! All that matters is that it's fun music."

"It's JUST scales though!"

"That's like hating punk music because its 'too loud'! Or hating metal because it's 'too fast'. Shut up grampa, and come to the show with your friends."

"So they've mastered playing scales really fast, big fucking whoop!"

"That's like saying you hate something basically because you can't do it yourself. I bet you can't play as fast as DragonForce does."

"I bet you I can."

"Now we both know you can't. That's a dumb thing to say."

"But I can. I'm sure I can."

"Fuckin' prove it then, smartass."

"I don't want to. I don't have to."

"You basically said you can't."

"I'm sure if I dedicated my whole life to whipping out solos as fast as I can I'd be as good, if not better than DragonForce."

"So let's go see them based solely on the fact that we want to witness a life's dedication to guitar! You can't do it. You probably never will. So let's go celebrate a great feat and enjoy some talent!"

"That's besides the point. DragonForce sucks."

"You just can't play it my man. And that is a shitty excuse to hate something."

"You know what? Fuck you. I'm not interested in seeing bands to see how many notes they can cram into a single bar."

"Dude... it's DragonForce."

"And I really don't give a shit about how fast they can play. That shit is redundant. Where is the feel?!"

"Dude, it's DRAGONFORCE!"

"It's all flash. All it is, is a bunch of 'Look what I can do' on stage. It's weak and lame and I hate it and I won't go see them with you on the twelfth."

"Dude, fuck feel, it's about-"

"What did you just say?"

"I said that it's about-"

"No, back the fuck up. What did you just fucking say?!"

"Fuck feel?"

"...I thought I knew you man. How can you just say that?"

"With ease. Because we're talking about... DRAGONFORCE!"

"You're braindead dude. For real."

"For reals, even?"

"Yes, plural."

"Dude... Hear me out..."

"Okay..."

"Well... It's... How do I put this? DRAGONFORCE!"

"I don't care."

"No man, I don't think you're getting me... It's DRAGONFORCE!!"

"I don't care man! It's bad music!"

"It's DRAGONFORCE!"

"Their lyrics are worse than an 18-hour Dungeons & Dragons session."

"So? It's fun!"

"DragonForce sucks. They are terrible and you can't handle it."

"What does that even mean?!"

"It means you just can't handle it man. You just can't handle the fact that DragonForce sucks."

"That doesn't even make any goddamn sense!"

"Fuck DragonForce."

"Dude, I'm pretty sure they have a song about riding a pegasus!"

"So?"

"Dude... A PEGASUS!"

"My point exactly man. That's weak bullshit."

"You mean to tell me you wouldn't ride a fucking pegasus if you could?"

"...No."

"Fuck you. You speak lies! You want to ride the pegasus! And you want to come to DragonForce!"

"No I don't. It's not good music."

"It's sooooo faaaaast! How can you say that?"

"With ease, because its DRAGONFORCE!"

"Dude, it's the fastest band out there."

"No it isn't."

"Okay, name faster."

"I don't know off by heart, but I'm sure there's faster."

"Even if there was, you don't know of them. Come see DragonForce!"

"No. I don't want to. And you can't make me. It's bad."

"Dude, it's fucking fun music."

"Where's the feeeeeeel?!"

"Fuck the feeeeeeeeel! And hear me out this time: Yeah you want 'The Feel' in your music. But sometimes it's nice to go for the pretty flashy things, you know?"

"Elaborate."

"With pleasure. 'The Feel' is wholesome, rewarding, rich and full of satisfaction. Having 'The Feel' in your music is like making love with the woman you love. Yeah, it's good. I won't deny it. But sometimes you gotta go for all the glitz and glamour. Going to see DragonForce will be like going to a bar with all your guy friends, drinking some cheap beer, and getting kind of buzzed. Out of nowhere this really fucking hot psychobilly chick at the bar starts buying you drinks and sends 'em your way. She buys you about 6 or 7 drinks, and she doesn't even know your fucking name. Next thing you know you're getting into her new BMW with a punched ignition that God-only-knows-where the fuck she got the 'money' to pay for such a thing, and she drives you to her penthouse where she's 'staying for a few days'. Before you know where you are, you find yourself drinking some more cheap booze, getting naked and spending the next eight-or-so drunken hours taking turns fucking and getting-fucked-by this chick to until the sun comes up, all the while listening to some really good fucking psychobilly music.You don't think she's religious, but she keeps saying 'Omigawd!' She puts you in places you didn't even know existed on a woman. She drives you home, dumps you off, and has no interest in even learning your name. You're hungover, your balls are runnin' on empty, your everything hurts, and it all happened so fucking fast you can't seem to recall the details. THAT is going to see DragonForce."

"..."

"So? Are you coming to see DragonForce with us?"

"On the twelfth?"

"On the twelfth."

"...I fucking hate you."