age: 36 (Jun 16, 1975)

MEMBER SINCE: January 2006

occupation: Professional Sucker, Sommelier

stats: BP 120/80

gets me hot: Using crisco as sunscreen. Nobody told me that didn't have a SPF rating.

makes me sad: Midgets puking up 151 on my backyard and leaving a dead spot on the lawn.

makes me happy: Midgets dancing at my house party

heroes: The Greatest American Hero!

fantasy: The feel of cold steel in my hand as I ride into battle in the early dawn of victory. As the fog of war hovers over the field I can here the rallying chants of my comrades. It encourages me to ride forward. Into the mist of uncertainty...

crush: Whatever bewitching woman who comes around the corner gives me the most seductive smile... and then punches me in the face.

body mods: Multiple Tattoos. Piercings are not me! Besides, I have a friend who has enough for both of us.

sign: I don't waste my fucking time with them.