into: booty, rum, wenches, monkey knife-fights

not into: landlubbers, ninjas

makes me happy: hoisting the Jolly Roger, coming aboutship, then firing the batteries at whoever.

makes me sad: floors that don't pitch and roll on the whim of the ocean, sobriety, well-armed navy vessles.

hobbies: tying knots.

5 things i can't live without: a cutlass, a parrot, a peg-leg, a crew, a mizzen

vices: looting, fighting, drinking, whores

i spend most of my free time: masturbating feverishly into the face of a stranger

occupation: Buccaneer

body mods: I have a few Real scars. Several on my face. One goes right through my lower lip from where that car hit me. Oh, and there's a 3 inch one on my ass. Boring story. Why would I need to get tats, piercings, or whatever?

heroes: Brunel, Da Vinci, Whittle, Turing, Edison, Tesla, Strowger

gets me hot: Amatures. Talking dirty. The right girl.

favorite position: I don't like monotony.

fantasy: Originality.

sign: Astrology is bollocks.

i lost my virginity: when I was 21. To a model. Dressed as a schoolgirl. Who introduced herself with the line "I'm not wearing any panties." Swear to God I'm not making this up. I waited for quality. Slutty quality.

MY DIET: Omnivore

ALCOHOL: I am a complete drunkard

MY DRUG USE: Down the hatch

MY KINK FACTOR: I'll try anything once, especially if you beg for it.

MY STATUS: cheater

I WANT: Romance, Booty

MY PIGEONHOLES: Fuck you, I defy categories