age: 24 (Apr 02, 1987)
MEMBER SINCE: February 2007
occupation: student, musician
most humbling moment: i'm not easily humbled
makes me sad: when those i love are in any sort of pain, being ignored
stats: 110lbs, 5'8" penis: 7+ inches, erect, 1-2 inches thick
crush: wouldn't you like to know?
heroes: Frank Sinatra, My brother John, Nikki Sixx, Mat Devine
into: glam, makeup, fashion, clothing, music, women, men, movies, good company, sex, the occassional getting shitfaced, attitude, rocking out
fantasy: sex on stage!
makes me happy: music, making people smile, good movies, being the center of attention, fanboys/girls
body mods: Piercings -- two in left lobe, one in right, one in nose (right nostril), one in lip (left side, lower)
gets me hot: bare shoulders, teasing, redheads, being in control, having my back clawed, dirty fuckin' sex, pissing/urine (giving not receiving)
every female i've cared about in recent passed i've managed to offend.
and the ones from ancient passed are coming back to haunt me. just the other my ex IMed me to ask me if i'd still be at the college she was going to. why would she fucking care?
anyway,
it sucks.
i want to be in l.a. where no one knows me.
if my parents read that they'd be up my ass about how i've said that like 4 times before, but it's true.
it's hard to get rid of a reputation you're ashamed of when everyone you know
equates your being with it.
"Rylee the womanizing user manslut"
i've made some bad fucking mistakes in my past. doesn't mean i'm proud of them.
i just dont get it. why is a "relationship" so goddamn important.
i feel so pressured by some to get into one, i'm getting old, i have friends who're engaged already!! and here i am single.
the girls (that i care about) say to jump on in. my folks say to stay away. and i want both.
i want the single life without being tied down, cuz i hate the relationships i've had (nothing but bad, i'll leave the details to your imagination) and i'm afraid it's all i'll ever get. but at the same time, a relationship feels so safe.
so i feel pull in multiple directions.
am i the only one that this makes sense to?:
-new city
-new school
-new life
-need to find a job
-need to start a band
a relationship will just add more baggage and drama and i won't be able to give the one i love my full attention.
is that difficult to grasp? is that selfish? i don't know!! anymore. everytime i think i'm doing the right thing or saying the right thing i'm just offending someone i care about.
my once-silver tongue is a bit tarnished.
my views of right and wrong are all skewed thanks to recent exes, new interests and family all saying DIFFERENT things...
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