Twilight Movie Review -
When the teen blockbuster Twilight first came out, I saw the previews and went, "eww...", but everyone seemed to like it. I sure as hell wasn't going spend the money to see it in the theaters, so I waited. Tonight I found it on Showtime On-Demand in HD and figured, “what the hell”, I've got nothing better to do.
This movie sucked modern-day vampire gay ass. Or should I say dick? It took a dark, mysterious, and sometimes romantic monster and wrapped a shiny glimmer around it, stuffing it with cotton candy.
Everything that made vampires compelling is thrown out the window. All the abilities that made vampires desirable remain. To compensate, they amped up the strength, speed, and charisma of the mythological creature. Traditionally, vampires lived in the night because sunlight killed. In these movies and books not only can they survive in the sun light, but they retain all their powers. The sun presents a mild irritant, giving them a skin tone akin to glitter. I know vampires are not real, but these stories presents no downside to vampirism. Hell, let's all be vampires. It removes the fear of anything except werewolves.
Twilight features some of the worst displays of acting since Hayden Christensen in Star Wars Episode II and III. It wasn't just one actor or actress, it was all of them. I've seen other movies with the same talent in it and the actors didn't suck nearly this badly. So why has everyone in this movie forgetten how to act? I suspect a big share of the blame goes to director Catherine Hardwick, creator of exercises in mediocrity such as "Thirteen" and "Lords of Dogtown".
The only good thing that I can see about this movie is the photography, the sets were beautiful, but that's more just a complement on the northewestern reagion of North America.
I would never watch this movie again, let alone recommend it. It was probably one of the worse movies...
Twilight Movie Review -
When the teen blockbuster Twilight first came out, I saw the previews and went, "eww...", but everyone seemed to like it. I sure as hell wasn't going spend the money to see it in the theaters, so I waited. Tonight I found it on Showtime On-Demand in HD and figured, “what the hell”, I've got nothing better to do.
This movie sucked modern-day vampire gay ass. Or should I say dick? It took a dark, mysterious, and sometimes romantic monster and wrapped a shiny glimmer around it, stuffing it with cotton candy.
Everything that made vampires compelling is thrown out the window. All the abilities that made vampires desirable remain. To compensate, they amped up the strength, speed, and charisma of the mythological creature. Traditionally, vampires lived in the night because sunlight killed. In these movies and books not only can they survive in the sun light, but they retain all their powers. The sun presents a mild irritant, giving them a skin tone akin to glitter. I know vampires are not real, but these stories presents no downside to vampirism. Hell, let's all be vampires. It removes the fear of anything except werewolves.
Twilight features some of the worst displays of acting since Hayden Christensen in Star Wars Episode II and III. It wasn't just one actor or actress, it was all of them. I've seen other movies with the same talent in it and the actors didn't suck nearly this badly. So why has everyone in this movie forgetten how to act? I suspect a big share of the blame goes to director Catherine Hardwick, creator of exercises in mediocrity such as "Thirteen" and "Lords of Dogtown".
The only good thing that I can see about this movie is the photography, the sets were beautiful, but that's more just a complement on the northewestern reagion of North America.
I would never watch this movie again, let alone recommend it. It was probably one of the worse movies I've ever watched in my life, and I've watched a lot of bad movies.
Seriously. A lot.
When the teen blockbuster Twilight first came out, I saw the previews and went, "eww...", but everyone seemed to like it. I sure as hell wasn't going spend the money to see it in the theaters, so I waited. Tonight I found it on Showtime On-Demand in HD and figured, “what the hell”, I've got nothing better to do.
This movie sucked modern-day vampire gay ass. Or should I say dick? It took a dark, mysterious, and sometimes romantic monster and wrapped a shiny glimmer around it, stuffing it with cotton candy.
Everything that made vampires compelling is thrown out the window. All the abilities that made vampires desirable remain. To compensate, they amped up the strength, speed, and charisma of the mythological creature. Traditionally, vampires lived in the night because sunlight killed. In these movies and books not only can they survive in the sun light, but they retain all their powers. The sun presents a mild irritant, giving them a skin tone akin to glitter. I know vampires are not real, but these stories presents no downside to vampirism. Hell, let's all be vampires. It removes the fear of anything except werewolves.
Twilight features some of the worst displays of acting since Hayden Christensen in Star Wars Episode II and III. It wasn't just one actor or actress, it was all of them. I've seen other movies with the same talent in it and the actors didn't suck nearly this badly. So why has everyone in this movie forgetten how to act? I suspect a big share of the blame goes to director Catherine Hardwick, creator of exercises in mediocrity such as "Thirteen" and "Lords of Dogtown".
The only good thing that I can see about this movie is the photography, the sets were beautiful, but that's more just a complement on the northewestern reagion of North America.
I would never watch this movie again, let alone recommend it. It was probably one of the worse movies...