“He was wearing a clown suit and touched my no- no places when I got into his white van to help him look for his lost puppy....the police mans made me show them on the dolly. Then we had ice cream.”

“"Honey, I hope you realize your role on this site is to provide laughs to the paying customers."

lol.
EPIC.”

“I hate how much I love him.

Seriously.”

“RubberSoul is expected to win gold in every swimming competition in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though he can't swim. This is because when RS enters the water, the water gets out of his way and he simply walks across the pool floor.”

“I left a really disturbing message here last time. and I shall possibly do so again. I don't even know what to call this guy. the member formerly known as ____ ? I sure as fuck won't call him 'richNfamous.'

in any case, I will be in L.A. this july and I plan on having him for lunch! wait. sorry. no. I mean...I plan on having lunch with him.

”

“souljacker is the best friend ever.

why?

because he let me borrow his nose-hair trimmer so that I could trim my dingleberry encrusted ass hairs.

♥”

“Fucking communist.javascript:insertSmilie('');”

“I used to be all uptight and souljacker bothered me. Then I learned to relax and now find him endlessly hilarious. So if he's really pissing you off - chances are you're the problem and not him. So lighten the fuck up. You'll be much happier and probably find he's one of the funnier members on the site.”

“This man has kept me laughing out loud since I first joined SG (sorry I had to tell you to fuck off that one time, though. I think it was in a My Bloody Valentine thread, so all's fair).

The staying power in often politically correct waters. The crazy identity rumors (Dave Grohl?!). The send-your-ass-back-to-school music knowledge. I love everything about souljacker. Now, can we see what the fuck you look like?”