i'm wondering lately why i either attract girls that i cannot have or girls that i like despite the fact that they are completely insane?

things have been off the wall. i don't even know where to begin...

my kitty has had fleas, but today she seems better...after a crazy yesterday filled with fleabombing carpets and washing clothes and better. poor cat, she was so fucking miserable and it bummed me out...

i finally bought a surfboard. i've wanted to surf my entire life (but grew up in massachusetts) now i practically live on venice beach. i go for my first time thursday real early. i'm so excited and freaking out.

i'm fucking going crazy waiting for spring!!!!

i'm getting up early every day, running, skateboarding, hiking, massaging 6 day weeks and losing my fucking mind.

i just got a new bed and have been dreaming again. i find that it's good to have the cat wake you up early...she knows when you get up. but it's a bit annoying some mornings...still, i attributte the new dreams to the state i return to from 6:45-8:30 AM after feeding her. i keep thinking i can't dream because of weed. i smoke and vaporize a ton of weed every week and thc somehow fucks with the reactors in your brain that allows REM sleep, literally allowing a more waking dream state (by being high), but no dreams. i'm happy to say i've dreamed and remembered for the past 3 days.

thank you new bed and cat



the Scarlet Woman

times are fucking weird. i've never been happier.

that's right people...today is my 28th birthday. i would start to feel old if i hadn't stepped up my life game in the past 2 years. so i guess i'm feeling pretty good....although not physically. i've been sick all week since i went to las vegas just over a week ago (though we did have fun eating mushrooms and wandering around vegas on a sunday night ) eeeeew i have lots of phlegm and sneezing...it's weird how i cannot remember the last time i was this sick..

somehow we managed to do the photoshoot for our record last night at this guys house out in the valley. it was awesome. he has a full fledged photo studio in his house and we looked great despite feeling like chihuahua shit.

my b-day party is supposed to be tonight, but i'm debating giving it a raincheck. i don't feel like celebrating...i just feel like getting high and watching movies...

it's been all work and hustle lately. i've managed to flanagel my work schedule now so i have either 1 or 0 night shifts to massage per week. i've been doing both sat & fri nights for the $, but these nights suck! it's all lonely bizarre emotionally needy people and my god it's just not worth it. it leaves me feeling creepy so often some of these people...duing the days though, it seems so less sinister to be handling strangers to pay the bills. i may lose a bit of the old $...but fuck it. i won't starve and the busy season is coming.

i'm giddy because i just bought a new cpu. a fully loaded 24' imac...now i can have the home studio of my dreams on a tremendous clear screen.

we ate mushrooms last weekend in the studio with our producer. we listened to our almost finished cd with psilocybin in my brain. it was a great time. always good to give the 3rd eye a lil sqweegie action..next time is december 9th? on the nest new moon....tripping is always best on the new moon...no heavy moods. just pure energy flow. i know someone who can get dmt and i'm dying to try that. it sounds fascinating and if it's anything like what i've heard ayahusca is supposed to be like, i'm in.

word.

Happy Halloween!

wow, i just haven't been using SG for anything but 'enjoying the female form as God's Art'...no journals no messages...

that's fine though, it never gets boring...yet it's become so predictable. lots of soda pop when in my old age (27) i'd rather savor a fine wine...which SG does deliver in spades on occasion (satya, mary, india, malloreigh, etc) but there's sooo many models now and they all look and 'seem' the same to me. but that's fine: all great things reach a homogenized state, which is still cool but 'normalized'. but hey i'm not getting into some hard/core ethic bullshit thing either...

life is so great. i celebrate my 1 year anniversary in LOS ANGELES tomorrow! which is soooo cool. i love it here so much. things have really worked out with the job and friends. the album i've been working on is being mixed after 2 years of work. it may find it's way into television or movies thanks to our producer and friends. i try to be thankful for everything at all times. even when we get smothered in smoke and cough for a week, this place is the best. i just bought a skateboard (after not skating for 12 years) and picked it right back up. it's one of those fat ones, like we had in the 80's, but new and super fast. i love it.

it's like being here for a year has completed the circle. now i feel for the 1st time i understand this place and it has accepted me.

the best part is we're celebrated 1 year by adopting a cat. i crave cat energy (in people especially) and this is exactly what i need. i've never even had my own cat before so i'm really excited.

anyways, i'm gonna try to use the SG thing more...we shall see...

so i guess it must be a great thing that i haven't been here typing on the cpu for a while...due to summer and outward activity.

on that note it has been camping mania in my world for the past month. i bought a new tent and went to mcgrath state park for the 4th and hung out on the beach. then last week i made it out to sequoia national park. there i slept amongst the redwoods way up 10000 ft. into the sierra nevada mountains. it was the fucking shit.

i'm really loving the whole live in LA and then vacation out in the wilderness....i love the contrast. i remember getting out of the car in the woods and hearing utter silence for the first time in probably months...it was deafening!

our record will be finished on time for sure in early september..thank god.

JUNE GLOOM SUCKS

it has been thick clouds and overcast for a while now....all i want to do is sleep, eat and loaf which is nooooo good....i hope the summer i've waited so long for will finally show up after this shit. last year when i live in SF there was no summer...it was always cold, so now i'm waited patiently for the LA sunshine goodness...i feel i've earned it....

oh well..it's okay cuz i'm digitizing my entire cd library...i've done it before but now i'm doing it right because cds just don't matter to me anymore. sure they sound better, but i can't remember the last time i used one. they look nice on the shelf. if i were a shade less sentimental i would have sold them by now...we'll see next year on that...

i'm changing my whole massage game...i'm sick of doing 20-25 per week at the place i contract. i'm so happy that it pays the bills and is going well, but i need to jump right into private clients. i can work half as much and make twice as much...i'm not down w going to peoples houses, but it will be okay considering the loot that some of these peeps in santa monica have...i have to work it for my body's sake....25 hours a week fucking hurts. besides, i just need to do this until our record drops and then hopefully i'll have a new lfestyle....we shall see!

hey, if anyone wants a great massage and is on the west side of LA please let me know


i'm saving up for this thing...i've never wanted anything soooo bad.....okay, i want a place to play a real drumset in LA more, but this thing will do....

SAW CORNELIUS the other night @ the El Rey...it was quite enjoyable. his band played in sync with a visual screen show featuring his videos....the band was sick. his drummer is this cute lil japanese girl who at one point played a flute while playing the kick and hi-hat w her feet. she was tight! i can't beieve they played 'point' and 'watadori' live...it was the best show i've seen in a while...



other than that....my arms and hands are really sore. i worked on this body builder/ martial arts guy today. he was a tree...massage is insane.

went to SF last weekend! wow i really miss that place...even though i know i belong here....we attended our friends' 6th annual bong making contest-4/20 party....my team lost, but i think our idea was the best. we made a bong out of a broadsword, dubbed: EXCALIBONG. it didn't work very well...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
no i'm not an idiot....the REAL new year happens today. the time when winter officially ends and spring begins. death and rebirth, when we all get a bit friskier....the spring equinox, when days and nights are equal and the days get longer...

it's just as well. this end of pisces lately has me sleeping and daydreaming constantly also smoking and drinking like a fiend...so now aries will bring pioneering action and freshness (which is so desperately needed right now!)

so anyways....it's raining in LA right now. a fitting end to pisces! and rare for this city

make a wish everyone, because this year is going to be an amazing one