Weird, I just found an old poem I wrote dealing with the flatness I felt waaay back when. It has to do with the fact that in order to "do the right thing" with Trish while she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, I totally had to try to ignore and quash the strong physical attraction I had obviously been feeling between us. The world seemed so flat and non-magical after that.
There was a long polar tug at my lips
coming from perhaps that warm
fold of flesh by your breast where your shoulder
dovetails with the svelte satin of your
upper right arm.
(it was a tiny, tender pout)
that I closed my eyes to.
It's cold over here and I can't
see the moon from where I lay.
Where's her tidal fury?
I could taste it for a moment in magnetic sips
pulling in a swelling ripple
her vibrant salt hot on my tongue
and a maelstrom maybe.
But only for a moment
Cuz we covered our eyes and clamped our mouths
and chastized the moon til
the masochistic talons of our morbid fortitude
tore it away to some hidden roost.
Now the shore and the wolves are mute.
Your siren eyes have turned away from the sea,
and mine into dead tide pools:
Two saltcrusted starfish
dreaming of armpits.
There was a long polar tug at my lips
coming from perhaps that warm
fold of flesh by your breast where your shoulder
dovetails with the svelte satin of your
upper right arm.
(it was a tiny, tender pout)
that I closed my eyes to.
It's cold over here and I can't
see the moon from where I lay.
Where's her tidal fury?
I could taste it for a moment in magnetic sips
pulling in a swelling ripple
her vibrant salt hot on my tongue
and a maelstrom maybe.
But only for a moment
Cuz we covered our eyes and clamped our mouths
and chastized the moon til
the masochistic talons of our morbid fortitude
tore it away to some hidden roost.
Now the shore and the wolves are mute.
Your siren eyes have turned away from the sea,
and mine into dead tide pools:
Two saltcrusted starfish
dreaming of armpits.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I haven't laughed that much in a long long time.
I didn't expect laughter, not that much of it. I picked her up at her work at 2:30, instantly talking like we always used to. instantly connected again after all those years. We drove up to Lynn Canyon Headwaters park. It was gorgeous today, blue sky, but with really fast and explosively changing thick white clouds pressing up over the ridge of the mountain above us from the west. We took the trail through the forest that went about 8 km round trip up along the rivers edge.
We just walked and talked and eventually found a spot by the river where we could just sit and watch the water. Caught up on a lot that we've missed out on in each others lives over the years. I caught flashbacks to all the times in the past when I would be watching those lips move.
Well, we covered around 8km, We ran some tests on a huge banana slug with a fake godzilla leaf attack to see if slugs actually had any sense of self preservation when facing a large thundering leaf godzilla roaring over the horizon. The slug didn't look too impressed or scared either way. I don't think it was afraid. We got some pics of some trees. and I probably took some pics of the top of my head with the disposable camera I brought. and it was getting dark in the forest. Sunset. Time to get back.
Funny how things are sometimes. as we were walking back to the parking lot, I found myself saying
"that was great, man I'd love to do that again sometime" Then I caught myself."Wait a minute, we still ARE doing this, and I'm already talking about it in past tense."
I can't remember everything that was said, but man my stomach was actually sore from laughing by the time we got back to my bronco. She talked about her boyfriend, and how she had something very valuable in him. I was thinking about this poem I wrote back in 1992, the one above, I was a bit silenced inside knowing that there is still a situation between us that forces the necessity of doing "the right thing". I was a little bit sad as I drove her back to her house. We talked some more in the truck for a little bit, her boyfriend would be home soon. I was wondering about her armpits again.
[Edited on Sep 04, 2004 11:31PM]
i like the poem- especially verse (stanza?) three.
nice sense of description
and "masochistic talons of our morbid fortitude" is a pretty fine line too.
hope you're still laughin'