Jesus, down I go again. This time it's cleaning the microwave shelving unit that's setting me off.
I'm pretty sure by this point that nobody's really reading this, so I don't have much of a problem being totally fucking honest. Kind of a therapy I suppose.
Question to myself: WHAT DID I THINK WOULD HAPPEN?
here's the scenario, I wake up one day and realize that we are locked into a totally co-dependent relationship and have been for at least 8 years of the 12. It's not getting better and neither one of us have made any new friends outside of the relationship. I told her again and again that I wanted her to go out with her friends, go do something outside of this relationship, but she never would. If I did though, I always had to face the night of a thousand questions when I got home. So, therefore, I never made any new friends other than the ones I had before the relationship started.
So when I finally hit rock bottom and realize that I am turning into a souless flatline and that we would probably both be better off without this deep need for eachother, I break up with her.
yeah, ok, um dude.. uh.. remember the part about you not having any friend network outside of those 2 people....?
Well, how fucking difficult would it have been to think about that for a second and at least PREPARE somewhat for how bloody depressing and lonely your life is going to be for that long period of time after you basically cut off all ties with the only person you are really really close to?
Man, talk about lack of preparedness. Obviously I was never a boyscout. All I knew is that if the future was going to be bright and shiny, we had to cut ties. So I tried and tried and tried and then finally cut ties. Now I'm all like WHOA
sure is quiet around here.
I hope she's doin ok.
I'm pretty sure by this point that nobody's really reading this, so I don't have much of a problem being totally fucking honest. Kind of a therapy I suppose.
Question to myself: WHAT DID I THINK WOULD HAPPEN?
here's the scenario, I wake up one day and realize that we are locked into a totally co-dependent relationship and have been for at least 8 years of the 12. It's not getting better and neither one of us have made any new friends outside of the relationship. I told her again and again that I wanted her to go out with her friends, go do something outside of this relationship, but she never would. If I did though, I always had to face the night of a thousand questions when I got home. So, therefore, I never made any new friends other than the ones I had before the relationship started.
So when I finally hit rock bottom and realize that I am turning into a souless flatline and that we would probably both be better off without this deep need for eachother, I break up with her.
yeah, ok, um dude.. uh.. remember the part about you not having any friend network outside of those 2 people....?
Well, how fucking difficult would it have been to think about that for a second and at least PREPARE somewhat for how bloody depressing and lonely your life is going to be for that long period of time after you basically cut off all ties with the only person you are really really close to?
Man, talk about lack of preparedness. Obviously I was never a boyscout. All I knew is that if the future was going to be bright and shiny, we had to cut ties. So I tried and tried and tried and then finally cut ties. Now I'm all like WHOA
sure is quiet around here.
I hope she's doin ok.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I don't at this moment know how to answer that.
Catch me at another time throughout the day, and I may be in a good moment: thinking the breakup was absolutely right. But man, so far those moments are far outnumbered by the "oh my god, what the fuck did i just do" moments.
I hope one day I'll come back and read this day, and say "oh man, I remember that. thank god that's over."
That may be the same day you come back and remember that time when you were temporarily broke, and didn't have a job.
Your story, situation, life intrigues me. I've felt the same way myself on more than one occasion. With different outcomes.
Obviously this isn't something you did on a whim. You've listen to your heart and it's not like a new "piece" came through and you went with it, which holds credibility to your decision.
Sometimes I feel I only stick around to see how this crazy life turns out.....
I especially hate questions like, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Who knows.... what a dumb question.
You have soul man....don't trade that for anything....or anyone.