A month ago, I would have given you a list of the reasons why I am a hopeless romantic.

Now those reasons don't exist.

I found someone who magically cut through all of my bullshit, all of my fear, and found that hope I did not think I had. That person's attention nurtured those buried seeds of hope. Someone who embodied all of these things I wanted. Someone who gave me a reason to stand and fight for the things I want, accept the things that cannot be yet, and to be comfortable enough in my own skin to bide my time and enjoy being me.

The person I found is me.

I'm not simply speaking of a cheesy self-pep talk. I'm not talking about adopting a persona and stepping into it, wearing it like a mask. This was beyond change. This was, for lack of a better term, regeneration. I grew into a man, a man I did not even dream to be. Positive, smart, witty, wise, flirty, attractive, gracious, and so, so full of unimaginable hope and faith. I took all of that poison inside of me, all the doubt, all the fear, all the pain, all the misery, and I changed it.

I stopped trying to return to the young adult I was. I canceled my appointment to get my ears re-pierced. I cut off my hair. I changed my clothing style, my glasses... not to force the change, but the fact is that it was already there, and I could not see it.

I feel like a new man. Not a better man. Just a man who has come to realize he is better. I rose up in a way I could never picture. I wish I could share with you all what I have been feeling over this last month, because that high, that joy, has not faded.

I tell you now, do not let who you were blind you to who you are. Do not try to change. Just let change happen. There is so much potential in every person who reads this, so much love and hope and joy, if you let it shine through.

I cannot promise that the days will not be dark. I can promise you will approach those days better. People notice this change. People notice it and reach out to you, flowers...

A month ago, I would have given you a list of the reasons why I am a hopeless romantic.

Now those reasons don't exist.

I found someone who magically cut through all of my bullshit, all of my fear, and found that hope I did not think I had. That person's attention nurtured those buried seeds of hope. Someone who embodied all of these things I wanted. Someone who gave me a reason to stand and fight for the things I want, accept the things that cannot be yet, and to be comfortable enough in my own skin to bide my time and enjoy being me.

The person I found is me.

I'm not simply speaking of a cheesy self-pep talk. I'm not talking about adopting a persona and stepping into it, wearing it like a mask. This was beyond change. This was, for lack of a better term, regeneration. I grew into a man, a man I did not even dream to be. Positive, smart, witty, wise, flirty, attractive, gracious, and so, so full of unimaginable hope and faith. I took all of that poison inside of me, all the doubt, all the fear, all the pain, all the misery, and I changed it.

I stopped trying to return to the young adult I was. I canceled my appointment to get my ears re-pierced. I cut off my hair. I changed my clothing style, my glasses... not to force the change, but the fact is that it was already there, and I could not see it.

I feel like a new man. Not a better man. Just a man who has come to realize he is better. I rose up in a way I could never picture. I wish I could share with you all what I have been feeling over this last month, because that high, that joy, has not faded.

I tell you now, do not let who you were blind you to who you are. Do not try to change. Just let change happen. There is so much potential in every person who reads this, so much love and hope and joy, if you let it shine through.

I cannot promise that the days will not be dark. I can promise you will approach those days better. People notice this change. People notice it and reach out to you, flowers seeking the sun, soaking it up. In that way, so many more possibilities will be there for you.

The road is still rocky, but I whistle as I walk it. You will not settle, because you are the kind of person who finds what they are looking for. You will not agonize every day that if you pass this by, things will never get better. Better days are always ahead.

I am no longer hopeless. So I leave a little bit of my hope behind for you. I hope this message stays up. I hope that you read it, close your eyes, and feel the first rays of a brand new day. I hope that these words stir those seeds inside you.

I hope you realize that you could always do it yourself... and then... I hope you do.

I'm not sure how much longer my gift subscription will last. So I'm going to go ahead and post my contact info.

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You can also add me on Yahoo Messenger as only_trust_your_cat.