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In the last year of having no internet, no cable and no home phone, I got into a quaint little habit of periodically buying a random book. Just something that looks interesting. Preferrably one Ive never heard of, or maybe buy an author Ive heard the name of, but never read. Sometimes its a classic Ive obviously heard of but never read.

Theres been an...
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malloreigh:
fucking amazing. we took a cab. it was the cab driver's responsibility to figure out where the hell it was. but it was epic. except for all the 15 year olds and the lack of merch or booze. i drank anyway.
5lave:
WTF is a bookmark!?
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I kinda thought my last post was exactly that -- my last post here -- but I think it's not all of a sudden.
See, thing is, I'm not sad. I'm not depressed (at least I'll deny that.) I'm simply not anything. I guess you'd say if I was anything, if there was a word for what I am, it'd have to be "not".

Sure,...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
fukidunno:
pica o pica where r u
5lave:
Haha that's too funny. Yeah you missed a good one. The venue was amazing. It was worth going just to see the second (kinda mid floor thingy) and third floors of the Penthouse. the third floor was pretty cool! Hopefully they keep having it there.
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i think my time here on this site is coming to a close.

it's raining here today, and for the first time in months, and i mean like 5 or 6 months... i've had access to the internet from home.

I can't say i have been bursting with energy today, and i've just spent about 5 hours here on this site going back through time...
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boggs:
i think we may be stuck on the same boat...where's gopher when you need him?!
sluttygoodgirl:
I have missed your journal entries, but am sorry to read one such as this.

I can relate to a lot of what you say here. There was a time when you were doing more living, and that time will come again.

Question is - how to get through things as they are now......I know your grandma died, maybe that has something to do with it? In addition to the slow decent, as you put it, her death maybe was a catalyst for a lot of old feelings on top of what you were already struggling with. Which would include the death of your dear Morgan. I'm completely guessing here, but those are some pretty major losses....

I would not like to see your name gone from my friends list, but I can understand feeling like this place isn't of much use right now.

I hope things get better sooner rather than later. Take the best care of yourself that you can, whatever way you can. Email me to vent if you want to.
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I googled easter.

Could never figure out the whole bunny / egg thing. Being brought up with the predominant focus being drilled down as it being all about christ (and chocolate), I couldn't even make up a logical connection to bunnys and eggs.

Then I got thinking about that festival of lights thing all those old stanky pagans used to do, the thing that the...
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trixel:
hi, long lost friend here stopping in and wondering how you're doing. robot
eddie:
I've actually been trying to convince hansel to come and be naked at wrek. I said that people don't look at your junk! He said that he thinks that he'd look at people's junk and therefor that people would look at his. Dangit! Hehe... I'll come as soon as it's okay for me cross the border. (I'm an ALIEN!!! hehe)
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I am so glad I did that. Dont suppose glad is really even the right word, but theres a warm and sorrowful little glow right now that I am feeling regarding the conversation I had bedside with Gram last week.

Im back in Vancouver, been here almost a week still with no internet, so I am still only able to type these updates somewhere and...
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greenxxghostie:
it sounds as if yyour grandma passed in a really nice state of mind...being reminded of something in her life that meant alot to her and could bring a smile to her face. i sometimes wonder about that moment of dying, if it's anything like the "set and setting" theory on LSD that (i think) Timothy leary talked alot about; he was taliking about a drug experience and how your state of mind at the beginning of the experience can affect and influence your entire experience-i don't know exactly what i mean, but like, if you die while in a certain mindset, especially if it is positive, could that open your spirit up somehow to all the incredible richness, both beautiful and ugly, of life and death? i think i might be babbling a little, but you're journal entry just sent my mind in a few different directions! I've always found death as a concept to be fairly simple; you live and so you must die. case closed. Of course, when someone close to you passes away, it makes that simplicity become profoundly awe-inspiring. smile
josephene:
Wow...beautifully written sadness...I found myself feeling right along with you. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope the sadness breaks a bit for a beam of celebration of the long life of memories that your Grandma experienced. Simply beautiful tribute.
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I forgot cold. Or at least painted it different in some romantic memory of life 20 years ago.

This is cold. I'm in Red Deer, been here since Monday and I left Vancouver with the blossoms of the cherry trees outside my apartment window tricking me into thinking it was snowing. I left with no gloves, a thin black jacket, few pairs of jeans and...
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trilobyte:
Go ahead and ask her those things. I lost a pair of grandparents to alzheimers (well technically complications due to Alzheimer's - like AIDS it doesn't actually kill you directly).

But do it. As the short term memory disconnects, there are some incredible connections to long term memories, and as strange as it sounds engaging in conversation (instead of 'thats nice') is more likely to lead to a few precious lucid moments. They get to be very few and very far between at a point, but they're certainly worth having.

Good luck.

~Trilo~
sluttygoodgirl:
How wonderful for the both of you that you are really there. My thoughts are with both of you.

It was good to read an entry from you. smile
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biggrin The mouse appears to have left the building.

they really DO hate garlic. smile
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tanja:
Poor sad little mice....
trixel:
wow I didn't know that about mice. Apparently I should be stuffing bulbs of garlic in my ceiling then. shocked
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wow, that's a record... 6 weeks since any word from the Pica.

Thank you everybody for your birthday wishes! Things over here in the fine feathered land of picadom have been flowing along in a rather slow, yet not all together bad pace.

Thank you to everybody that left me comments regarding Morgan, I read them all, but couldn't reply.

Yes, saying "goodbye" to the...
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rodan:
Happy Birthday biggrin
kumquat:
i suck and am most late on this.
but happy birthday.
smile
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ok. I have absolutely nobody anywhere near my new place that seems willing or able to be a pal and share some wireless loving.

No internet.

And Morgan died on Friday.
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lavinia:
Happy Birthday!
hansel:
Happy Birthday. smile
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OMG Wireless!

Quick! Waste no bytes!

Merry Christmas!
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hansel:
I wouldn't survive without wireless.
lavinia:
Where have you been?
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I've been in wireless internet hell.

I'm taking this brief opportunity to say that I may not be entirely active online for the next few days, as it would appear as though I'm having some severe issues in keeping a connection.

GACK

Had a blast on Saturday night! It was great meeting all the PDX folk, but unfortunately, I didn't take anywhere NEAR enough pics....
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lavinia:
That's what happens when you surf wireless.

When I get back give me all the details from last Saturday's party.
fukidunno:
Merry Holidays to you. I've thought about you all the time doing this turkey thing on my own. I'll let you know how it turns out! Hope you are haveing a great one! wink