I just found out my vacation is extended, I don't work til next wednesday. That makes me happy. They could keep extending it. AND I get to fly the first day I get back. Go me

SOOO...thanks to sn0wbunnie, she found the set I was looking for and it was athena. YOU'RE THE BEST

My book is almost done and ready to be sent to an editor. I have no idea how to get a book published. harlequin is the easiest but I dont' know if it's the best. I have no idea how to find an agent let alone hire one...I just don't know.

I was in Vancouver and met up with some awesome members from BC, it good to hang out with them The dr appointment went ok. I have to drop down to 218 lbs so I can get the operation as part of a control group. I am excited. I hope I can

I just don't know anymore...girls are nuts...I hate that I try....i give up...on everything.

well, not everything, I'm coming to Vancouver Monday, I haven't given up on that yet.

Billythecat, gimme your number we'll do supper.

Wow...only two journals in 08, I am here almost every day..but because of facebook I'm usually doing any messaging or contact through there...sorry to all my SG friends. I am here still a lot reading all your funny comments and trying to post in groups.

So, what is new with me, work is still very busy. I just finished participating in an international long range patrol squadron competition between us (Canada) the U.K. Australia and New Zealand, we didn't win, I'll just say that BUT I did have a blast, I also found out that australia is hiring so that is something I have to think about. Other than that, I don't know if i'm going to an exercise in Hawaii for the entire month of July. I am torn either way. which leads me to another point in my life.

I just met the most amazing albeit confused woman. She is perfect in every way EXCEPT she is just getting out of a 7 year relationship. We were friends (reunited from high school on facebook) we just started talking, they broke up then we started getting closer. It's really hard, she needs her space, i try to give it to her, other days she needs me so badly, it's so hard...but she is so great, I hope it works out good for me in the end..if not, I'm just happy to have her in my life and happy it was me that she turned to in her time of need. Which makes me unsure weither i'm coming or going. most of the time I'm so happy to have her around...the cynic in me makes me wonder what i'm doing...I am just setting myself up for the heart break of my life and honestly I don't have many heart breaks left in me. Oh well...devil be willing this will be the one.

AND...other good news I finished the very rough draft of my book, now comes the tedious task of rewritting and editing...the part I hate

Wow, I haven't updated in 08 yet...that is awful. WELL...so far this year...I've got nothin'. Still working on my book, work is getting really stressful. I just got back from Hawaii and will be going to Vancouver Thursday and possibly Palm Springs the middle of March.

I will think of something good to say shortly..I promise.

Well, I was seeing this girl I've liked for months...went on 3 dates and things were going great and all of a sudden she just disappeared again. Women are nuts. I have now decided I have been wanting to be in a relationship and I've tried to hard, I've decided that this year I won't go on one date nor will I have sex. I mean it should be easy, I didn't have sex very much last year without trying so with a bit of effort it'll be easy. This way I can't possibly get hurt, just frustrated...and well with the internet thats no problem anymore either.

and on a lighter note, I am still working on my book. I am done the first 3 chapters, chapter 4 is giving me difficulty. I had an idea in the outline but decided it was too weak so now I have a new idea for it but I am having trouble seeing it and putting it all together. So maybe the no sex thing will keep me focused

I just got back from North Bay Ontario. The weather was shitty, but DAMN i had fun. So much fun I am VERY broke until pay day

I met a girl, she was dancing at a bar across from our hotel. She was amazing, very beautiful and we got a long so well. I had to leave and even though I have her number and I'm sure we'll talk for a few more days maybe a couple of weeks but we'll eventually lose touch. She made me feel great for a couple of days and for those that don't know, I am writing a book. I put a couple of ideas from that book in the dirty story group if anyone wants to read them. BUT, I was at a stand still. Used some short stories I wrote, came up with a rough idea of how I wanted the story to go but I had NO idea who the heroine was, how they met. I wrote a first chapter but it sucked so bad, I knew I couldn't use it without some serious reworking. WELL, after meeting this girl, the second I saw her, she was the star, I had an idea of how the girl looked in my mind and she was the life version. After talking to her and getting to know her the book just came alive the first three chapters are solid in my head. I just finished chapter one and have to get the next 2 on paper. I have several others on paper and just need to revise them. I am excited. Its funny, I don't even have it done and I already assume it will be published and winning awards

So ya, I just went through my "friends" list on here. Its sad the people that went grey. People that I used to be pretty close to, talk to a lot...and they're gone. Its sad. This place was my addiction, I never went more than 6 hours without spending lots of time on here, making real bonds with people. Although I have been on more and more lately I am not really talking to new people but trying to stay in touch with the friends that are still here.

On a personal note, I don't know whats wrong with me...I really don't, I mean I have some idea but well not totally. Christmas is coming up, a time for family and loved ones to be together. I hate it so much because is just a constant reminder of how alone I am. I am friends with so many girls, but none want to actually be in a relationship with me. I can't even tell you the last time I had sex. I was looking through the boards found a thread "shower together" seeing all the happy couples in love, sharing an intimate moment, it made me sad. I mean, I know I sabotage relationships when I get into them and well, I think the well went dry. For many different reasons. Anyway...it sucks.

I also think I am seriously getting dumber and dumber. Its really bizare and a bit scary.

oh ya and what really sucks is I like this girl, we've talked a bit, hung out a couple of times nothing to serious. Well, I like her but she met this other guy she likes and he isn't interested..last night she was complaining why isn't she good enough and that she hates going unnoticed and in the process she made me feel exactly the same way she did.

I am back from San Diego. It was awesome. I got to see Sea World, the San DIego Zoo, the outlet mall on the border, Tijuana and lots of great restaurants. I had a good time.

If you want to see pictures of all my trips you'll have to add me to facebook, I have deicided I am WAY to lazy to resize all the pictures for here. Sorry.

Oh and I wrote a story and put it on Filthy Dirty Smutty Storytime group...people should go read it

new month, new post.

I think I'm going to san diego tuesday, I hope so, I want to get my xmas shopping done.

for halloween I got an awesome nacho libre costume.

I am seriously neglecting my SG duties, sorry all. Things are so different here, I don't recognize most people its crazy.

So, what have I been up to that has kept me away from here for so long. Well of course I have been on facebook a lot...but I have also been travelling a lot. I have been to the Caribbean (curacao) and Australia (via fiji and hawaii) the australian trip was awesome. Our hotel in Fiji had an awesome water slide so we spent the second nigth on the road in the pool drinking and sliding it was good fun. Australia was great, perth wasn't what I expected but the city was fun, I got to pet a Koala and a Kangaroo. I am hoping to put up pictures soon. (I would now but I don't have the energy to fit them to SG standards) We also got to chase down an LA Class submarine, I also got to see a red back spider (looks like our black widow except the red patch on the back is different) after that we went to townsville it was beautiful there. Our hotel room was on the 14th floor so I had a great view of the area. We also went snorkling on the great barrier reef (pictures to follow) Also, we watched the lunar eclipse from there.

But for now I'm jetlagged and catching a cold...so i am off...for those that read this love you all miss you.