Member: Northern

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DECEMBER 18, 2010 @ 11:00 PM


Holy crap!

It's been three and a half months since I posted something.

Sorry!!

Hopefully all of you still remember who I am. Not sure why I haven't posted anything. And not reading your blog entries. The worst part is that when I don't keep up with my friends' blogs is that I fall further and further behind. Then it starts to seem overwhelming to try to catch up.

It's less than a week till Christmas, and I didn't want to leave posting something until after the holidays. I will make an effort to catch up with everyone over the next few days. I hope.

How am I doing? I'm not sure. I no longer feel blah. My psychiatrist lowered the dose of my anti-psychotic to a very low amount, and it seems to have worked, allowing me to feel emotions. Not that the emotions are always happy, but at least I'm feeling things now.

He also raised the dose of my anti-depressant. I'm now taking the highest dose of it that he's ever prescribed (though there have been a few others taking the same dose). It's one of the few anti-depressants that can be measured in a blood test, to see if I'm in the therapeutic range. Too little, and there's no effect, but too much and there's no positive effect either. But I am actually feeling occasional moments of happiness. They're short bursts, not lasting very long, but that's still better than never feeling happy.

Some of the things I enjoy doing are still not being done regularily, like reading friends' blogs. But sometimes I actually get in a good frame of mind and even do things that I HAVE to do. Like finally putting up new blinds. My blinds had suffered at the claws of previous cats, and I got a replacement set of blinds at the beginning of the year, but never got off my ass and put them up. Until last week. Yay me!

As always, I really love Christmas. It's not like I do anything exciting. I spend a few days at my mom's (and she lives just down the street), but I like giving her gifts. And we eat too much sweet and/or fatty food. Same with a few days later for New Year's Eve.

Since it's just the two of us, we haven't had a big roast turkey for many years. For several years we would have a stuffed turkey breast. This year we're having a Tofurkey. We've had it a few times this year, and figured it would be nice for Christmas day dinner. Besides, it's a lot less effort than an actual roast turkey.

And this year we're going to attempt something new. On Christmas Eve, we're going to try using Skype to talk to my brother and his wife and their son. I've never used Skype before. I installed it on my mom's computer, and it looks simple enough. But it'll be a new experience to talk by webcam.

There are a few more things I could prattle on about, but I'm going to leave them for next year, after I've caught up with everybody.

Merry Christmas!! Happy New Year!!

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Comments
Raynne

Raynne

HOPEFUL

Guelph, ON

DEC 19, 2010 06:05 AM

Just as you're getting on with friend's blogs I'll be leaving one today as I'll be away for about 10 days. Going home for Christmas tomorrow which I am super excited about. I know exactly what you mean when trying to catch up with everybody. If I am away long enough I sorta give up and just get everyone to tell me whats new like I will probably do this year after I get back from Ottawa. Anyway sounds like you have a small but fun and good Christmas and have a great new year!

DCruz

DCruz

Montreal-nord, QC
November 2006

DEC 19, 2010 10:10 AM

Wow, yeah, it has indeed been a while ! Well it's cool to hear that you can feel emotions and moments of happiness, it's really how life is I guess. We won't blame you if you don't catch-up on blogs, most often it's not really necessary anyway but it's always a cool thing to do nonetheless. Well, I hope you have some hapy holidays and hope everything works out just fine so you can talk to your brother ! smile

lexxie

lexxie

Toronto, ON
October 2008

DEC 21, 2010 06:28 PM

they've kind of evened out as much as a cat and dog can...but now i think she's going into heat. there's always something with her tongue but she's awesome.

cerephinna

cerephinna

United Kingdom
February 2005

DEC 22, 2010 06:34 AM

Hello! smile good to see you around these parts.

Our old drummer had given us a kind of ultimatum whereby we either had to comply with his wishes or break up the band, so the band broke up. Soon after me and Pete realized that we'd put a lot of hard work into it and never really wanted to break it up, so we decided to carry on with a new drummer. He's great! A really nice person and a great drummer.

My childhood dentist was horrible. He never anesthetized properly and would regularly work after having drunk too much alcohol. My sister sees a new dentist at that surgery who has apparently heard a lot of similar stories from other patients, so it sounds like he traumatized a lot of people in the 1980s.

I wish we had Tofurkey in this country!

Adair

Adair

Canada
January 2006

DEC 22, 2010 11:23 AM

Sorting out medication and their proper dose in depression and anxiety disorders is really tough I hear. I hope one day doctors will be able to find a way to get things very accurate straight from the start.

Tofurkey sounds tasty- I have always been curious about it. Don't worry about Skype at all- its really easy to use. Jim and I used that to talk all the time last year while he was at school and it is pretty good- nice and clear. The only problem you have to worry about is people SPAMing you with crap- but they do that with text rather than talk.

As for me, I just got a third mark in- 84% for my mid-term art class mark. I'll take it! I don't have my exam grades yet- I haven't looked though, I guess because I am not worried too much about them- neither exam I feel could have made of broken me in a course, I felt good coming out of them.

Working designing invitations I know a lot now about wedding etiquette.Your brother should have sent you an invite on your own- especially if you are at a different address. My cousin just was acting like a spoiled brat in my opinion- between the outrageous registry and her rude behavior. I found out later that my other cousin brought a date (her boyfriend of three months) and that they had an open bar (even though my aunt insisted that they were trying to save money). I have decided just to avoid that side of the family as much as possible, I don't need to deal with their attitude problems.

DCruz

DCruz

Montreal-nord, QC
November 2006

DEC 22, 2010 07:39 PM

It's a company that basically deals with data entry/management for other companies, I know we deal for Reader's Digest and other magazine companies, Canada Post, and in the past they used to have deals with Pratt & Whitney... not the most awesome place but it's easy enough.

And yeah, I'm sure it does but when I think about it, I've looked about the same ever since I've started having sex so I wouldn't quite know what being thinner or fatter would be like but I'm sure it would change things ! Mainly I'd like to have more upper strenght so I don't feel like dying during missionary, lol. But yeah, maybe not the most awesome but it was really nice as I was convinced I'd never be able to considering my somewhat limited experience and the fact I'm much more used to doing it myself.

Martini

Martini

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

DEC 23, 2010 07:24 PM

thanks so much for your donation! smile kiss

merry ho ho!

xo

radiofrank

radiofrank

Mississauga, ON
November 2002

DEC 23, 2010 08:00 PM

...and hello to you as well! smile

I am quite glad to hear that you are feeling happy every so often (which is what can be said of the rest of us, I think).

In answer to your question, I have a general idea...but I'm not quite certain of the specifics yet. Hopefully soon.

I hope that you have a great Christmas, good sir. All my best to you and yours!

Adair

Adair

Canada
January 2006

DEC 23, 2010 08:49 PM

I am a huge fan of Natures Emporium and Ambrosia- though you are right, NE can be a little pricey sometimes. You know what, I find a lot of vegan food doesn't quite hit the mark tasting like meat- but I enjoy it because it is different. You are right- the cheese is delicious- I was there one weekend buying something and I tried it.

I do not blame you for being upset at all. My cousin sent my little sister and I one to share as well, which doesn't bother me so much, since we live at the same address (still improper etiquette though). To me, as an adult, when you don't receive your own invitation, it is like being demoted to the status of "child" all over again- and I don't think anyone appreciates being made to feel like that.

I checked for my grades yesterday, but they were not up- and apparently, our server room's air conditioner failed today, causing everything to overheat. The entire system is now being checked so I can't access my grades, email, etc. until further notice. eeek

Cottser

Cottser

London, ON
April 2004

DEC 24, 2010 01:35 PM

I agree with Frank, happiness is fleeting! Merry Christmas :-)

mentalrage

mentalrage

United Kingdom
March 2006

DEC 26, 2010 11:53 AM

Good to see you're still around, how did the Skype experiment go? I've never used it myself so I'm not really familiar with it.

When it comes down to happiness I think it's all down to perspective really, I've just had probably the best Christmas in years really so that's made me happy despite all the other things going on in my life or not going on as the case maybe.

As for my friends well it has been pointed out before.

Comics are good.

Temper

Temper

SUICIDEGIRL

Germany

DEC 31, 2010 08:53 AM

You mean Margarete? That's not my real name. The "newspaper" changes names, otherwise they'd be sued left and right for slander and libel. (And rightfully so, since not a single word they print is in any way true.)

Mneylu

Mneylu

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

JAN 06, 2011 10:00 AM

Thanks for the awesome xmas card!! biggrin hope to see you in the new year at gala! biggrin

Lydia

Lydia

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

JAN 11, 2011 02:33 PM

Yup! That was faster than expected. Not sure how long I'll be sticking around but I missed the site and wanted to see how it was going these days.

mentalrage

mentalrage

United Kingdom
March 2006

FEB 22, 2011 01:53 PM

Hey how you doing? Haven't heard from you in a while hombre hope things are cool.

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