"He owns the rat club here, so you're good fuckin' times in my books"

"Oh you!
I meet this guy at a public swimming pool a few years ago...

::dream sequence starts::

I was splashing around having a good ol' time with my yellow arm floaties on , sunscreen globed on my nose, and earplugs in. I was the hot chick of the neighborhood at that time. ::dusts shoulders off::
When Nick667 swam up to me and asked if I wanted to make out in the deep end, and ohh man! I was like " oh you know I do baby" So we swam over to the big kids end and found our self's a nice spot under the diving board. We started going at it real hot and heavy when suddenly our lip locking was interfered by strange bubbles surfacing the water all around us. He was like " hey what's going on??" I shrugged and we continued...Then again the bubbles appeared. We both separate and look all around us and we discover Smelly Joe ( the smelly kid in class) was in the water just behind us starring the whole time! " What the fuck Joe what do you want, can't you see were trying to make out here!!??" I say. And just as I say that an odd brown substance hit me in the ear. I look to see what it was and Nick667 screams "AHHH!!!" Then he sinks himself down to the bottom of the pool... as he's rising back up to the surface I notice he brought something back up with him. " What’s on your head man?" I say... He then placed his hand on his head and grabs it.
( thinking it was just a leaf or something) Then I scream, " oh gross its pooo!!" and we both freak out.
Turns out Smelly Joe had crapped all over the deep end of the pool while watching me and Nick667 making out. The whole pool was evacuated and we didn't notice the lifeguards waving everyone out because we were too busy making out hardcore. With poo floating around us at that! UGH

Man still to this day I can't go swimming in a public pool"