nexttuesday

My stress will go away once I have my passport in my hand. Money. Well. I think I'm still just going to try my best to do what I can when I can do it. Try to pick up extra hours at the part time job maybe. But I'm sad. I have $2100 coming to me in November. The plan was to set that money aside to move to MO. Unfortunately it looks more like I will have to use it to get new tires and fix my tooth....if my tooth will hold up that long. I'm kind of thinking it wont so Ill prolly just get it pulled. Who needs to chew right?

If you like to read, I would like to suggest Rant by Chuck Palahniuk. If you like music, I would like to suggest Houston We Have A Drinking Problem by Bad Astronaut. If you're going to eat at Cousin's Subs, I would like to suggest eating a Tuna sub mmmm.

Kat and I went and saw the XGames 3D movie that's out this week. It was pretty cool. Bob Burnquist was in it which makes me happy. It was fun to watch. I have such high respect for the X Games competitors. Especially the skaters. Mmmmm skaters....*wipes drool*

I was driving back to work from a doctors appointment and was listening to a song that spun me back to my married days. I was remembering the beginning of our marriage and how happy I was. How sure I was that I would be with him forever. How much fun we used to have. How I was never jealous in those days. And I started crying because I want that back. Not him. I want that happiness again. I want the comfort of not having to worry about being cheated on or lied to. I want to be loved for who I am. I had that for a little while with this man:



I was crying because I can have all that back. I've got a man offering me more love than any other man has. More love that I thought was I was worth. I've got this man who supports me and is proud of things I do. I've got a man who does him damnedest to make me smile when he knows I'm sad. And here I am just taking him for granted. He has already experienced my jealousy issues. Thankfully not in a big way. I am quick to fight, quick to feel hurt, quick to just be a bitch. I cannot let my baggage ruin my second chance with this man:





I've found my forever and I need to learn how to be a better person for him.