Age: Three Years
Prognosis: Dead
Situation: Shitty
What i'm describing?: My laptop...

So after three glorious years and countless journeying with me, my HP bites the dust. So now i'm looking at new ones at BestBuy which has some damn wicked buys available and no interest financing for 24months which is awesome! I'm still spending the money though which is not.

Planning for my next trip is begun in ernest (hey Vern, ya hear that?). We're planning on going to Europe for 9 days--Paris and Amsterdam in February. By "we" i mean my friend who is no adventurous and not daring and I--evil motherfucking kanieval biyatch! Well not really...i'm just not afraid of much anymore except rejection and getting my heart broken. But i digress...I'll be finally trading in my freq flyer miles and seeing some cool stuff and i just hope my friend is with me every minute of every day the whole time or i'll flip as i'm used to adventuring alone.

Saw the apartment today...it looks really nice with all new carpeting and woodwork/cabinets. $350/month is a little steep though considering how small my room would be (must talk down price).

Thanksgiving was decent...except for the part when my sister decided to tell this "hilarious" story about how she bought crack for her deadbeat husband. Fuck that!

I'm pretty sure anything/everything's over with Amanda (travel agent). I just feel it..which disappoints me as she's most everything of what i'm looking for and more so i believe. But i can move on and on and on which seems to be my lot in life. Why is it that every time something good seems to be happening to me, it gets fucked up? Or why has every girl i've ever seriously been interested in rejected me? I know some of the answers, but chrst on a cross i'm goddamn curious about the answers for others.

edit*--Amanda's fallen for her Irish friend Aaron. Oh well...we're still friends and i'm gonna move on. Didn't really want to, but that's the hand i was dealt. Always a day late and a dollar short *le sigh*

I did get a girl's number at work though the other day--this cute Indian girl who's a family friend who i know is attracted to me--came in and we started talking a bit. I'll call her in a day or two. Also contemplating asking this one girl out at work who's a regular though i'm reticent to date any customer as i generaly speaking dislike them all out of principle. And then there's 80's night girl, Bonnie, who's the most adorable thing ever! Now if only i could meet up with her again.

I think that's my problem...fear or rejection and too big of an eye--not a wandering one mind you--just a big eye with lots of girls in it's field of view. That and i think i should just ask a bunch of girls out and weed them out until i'm with the girl who best suits me. We'll see though...

Oh the other day i found this ad in the local alterna-paper for ths gay bodybuilder massage guy named "Big Dan" to come and give you a gay? time. I find this hilarious as my nickname has been "BigDan" for the past 8 years. So apparently "BigDan" is not only me, but also a big gay body buliding maseuse.

I'm feeling a bit down right now so any love shown would be appreciated....