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Skipped out on the play party Puppet invited me to. Just way too much anxiety. I got that feeling I get when I'm forcing myself to do something I don't want to do. I ended up at Tony's instead. It's probably the closest he's seen me to a full blown panic attack.
I'm a bit afraid of social kinky events because I'm concerned that I will be squicked out by icky, forward doms and that it will set back all of the progress I've made so far with my own kink issues.
I talked with (Portland) Kate a bit about things, and she suggested that I fill out one of those kink questionnaires about interests/limits, to sort of desensitize myself. She was right in that it was helpful, not only in getting more comfortable with the idea but also getting a clearer picture of my limits, but the problem is that those questionnaires aren't really helpful for the more mental/emotional aspects of kink play. Well, it's at least something.
Skipped out on the play party Puppet invited me to. Just way too much anxiety. I got that feeling I get when I'm forcing myself to do something I don't want to do. I ended up at Tony's instead. It's probably the closest he's seen me to a full blown panic attack.
I'm a bit afraid of social kinky events because I'm concerned that I will be squicked out by icky, forward doms and that it will set back all of the progress I've made so far with my own kink issues.
I talked with (Portland) Kate a bit about things, and she suggested that I fill out one of those kink questionnaires about interests/limits, to sort of desensitize myself. She was right in that it was helpful, not only in getting more comfortable with the idea but also getting a clearer picture of my limits, but the problem is that those questionnaires aren't really helpful for the more mental/emotional aspects of kink play. Well, it's at least something.
I'm a bit afraid of social kinky events because I'm concerned that I will be squicked out by icky, forward doms and that it will set back all of the progress I've made so far with my own kink issues.
I talked with (Portland) Kate a bit about things, and she suggested that I fill out one of those kink questionnaires about interests/limits, to sort of desensitize myself. She was right in that it was helpful, not only in getting more comfortable with the idea but also getting a clearer picture of my limits, but the problem is that those questionnaires aren't really helpful for the more mental/emotional aspects of kink play. Well, it's at least something.