So....now that I'm back from the brink of insanity I decided to do something calculated and exact that would render me calm, level-headed, and (most importantly) relaxed as I sail through these lazy, humid, summer weeks:

I'm teaching trigonometry in summer school.

I know.....I thought I was out of my mind, too. But there is a reason for it, and it shames me to no end to admit this. I'm whoring myself and my abilities out for money - pure and simple. There's nothing noble about it, I really don't give a shit if these kids pick up trig or not. I need the money. It's a crass, greedy, and materialistic reason to do anything, and I like to think I'm above such base reasoning; but there is an upside to this "wage of sin". I'm getting way more than just my money's worth out of this arrangement, both physically and emotionally, so I feel like I can take some solace in that.

Today, I only have time and space to write about the first part of this deal that rocks. The next entry will be about the emotional side of this arrangement; the first part is singularly about materialism. From the summer school money I've earned, I've been able to buy a new toy. Well, it's not exactly new. Rather, it's a new, "used" toy. Okay - it's a car. But it's a pretty cool car. I bought it back in the late Spring as a form of mental rehabilitation. This was to be my hands-on version of "Primal Scream" therapy. The idea was rooted in the philosophy that I would take this monstrous, hulk of a machine and through my blood, sweat and tears transform it into something beautiful. Like "Pygmalion" - but instead of a woman, it's a car. It's through my labor that I would pour out all the anger, frustration, hatred, and feelings of inadequacy that I've felt over this past year and be able to concretely see the progress my efforts were making.

It may sound "epic" and pretentious - but it's not. It's just that teachers often fall victim to a malaise at the end of each spring that's rooted...

So....now that I'm back from the brink of insanity I decided to do something calculated and exact that would render me calm, level-headed, and (most importantly) relaxed as I sail through these lazy, humid, summer weeks:

I'm teaching trigonometry in summer school.

I know.....I thought I was out of my mind, too. But there is a reason for it, and it shames me to no end to admit this. I'm whoring myself and my abilities out for money - pure and simple. There's nothing noble about it, I really don't give a shit if these kids pick up trig or not. I need the money. It's a crass, greedy, and materialistic reason to do anything, and I like to think I'm above such base reasoning; but there is an upside to this "wage of sin". I'm getting way more than just my money's worth out of this arrangement, both physically and emotionally, so I feel like I can take some solace in that.

Today, I only have time and space to write about the first part of this deal that rocks. The next entry will be about the emotional side of this arrangement; the first part is singularly about materialism. From the summer school money I've earned, I've been able to buy a new toy. Well, it's not exactly new. Rather, it's a new, "used" toy. Okay - it's a car. But it's a pretty cool car. I bought it back in the late Spring as a form of mental rehabilitation. This was to be my hands-on version of "Primal Scream" therapy. The idea was rooted in the philosophy that I would take this monstrous, hulk of a machine and through my blood, sweat and tears transform it into something beautiful. Like "Pygmalion" - but instead of a woman, it's a car. It's through my labor that I would pour out all the anger, frustration, hatred, and feelings of inadequacy that I've felt over this past year and be able to concretely see the progress my efforts were making.

It may sound "epic" and pretentious - but it's not. It's just that teachers often fall victim to a malaise at the end of each spring that's rooted in the question, "So....did I actually accomplish anything this year or was I just wasting my time?" I know that I've reached my students, and they've grown emotionally, intellectually, blah blah blah. But right now, I need to SEE progress in physical form. Hence, the restoration of the car.

The car is a model that I've always wanted; as a kid I dreamed of owning one of these monsters in absolutely perfect shape. I don't know why - they're not engineered particularly well (though I don't care what Stiles may think or say, they don't deserve their negative reputation, either). I think the correct word to use when describing the engineering behind this type car is "proven". I just like the nexus these cars create in the intersection of their gorgeously creased lines with their ridiculous proportions and ambition. Absurdity never looked so beautiful, in my opinion.

So here she is as of last week. Here is my 1979 Chrysler New Yorker 5th Avenue:















As you can see it's been keeping me busy. Not everything works, yet. I still have to fix the wipers, power antenna, cruise control, headlamp cover motor, and hi-beam switch. And there's always the endless supply of trim parts and switches that need cleaning/fixing, etc. The carb needs a rebuild (it runs a bit rich) but at this point in time it drives very nicely. Plus, I can see all my effort in everything that was broken, or missing, or didn't work that now works and/or is complete. And that's keeping me happy.

This is getting a bit long so I'll write about part two later. I promise it'll be funny.