laceyk

THat is how I feel.

I just found out last night, that Eric hooked up with one his friends (who I never felt comfortable about since she flat out told him she had a crush on him, and she is just out of a relationship and has been making out with all these guys while drunk) on Friday.

That means he fucked me Monday, broke up with me Tuesday and made out with her Friday.

I can't put into words how I feel....I can't even put into emoticons....

I really trusted him. I had come from a really bad relationship before him. Where the guy had cheated on me with men and women continuously. Eric had started to put my faith back into people. That they didn't all lie, and cheat and were out for themselves.

I never thought that he would do that. My heart was already hurting. But now I just feel crushed. I feel angry, I want to email her and call her a bitch, but he told her we were broken up, so what would that do?

I feel so disrespected. I can't believe that this person who I had such a great night with about one week ago has literally taken everything I have and just crushed within a week.

I don't even feel like I know who he is.

I am physically shaking still...I can't sleep and I am going off of four hours. I still feel like I want to call him, though I know I can't. I definitely feel like throwing up. My head is spinning.

I wish there was something I could take to make the pain go away for just a little bit. Like aspirin or something.

And on top of all of this I still miss him, though I have to assume that it is just because I hurt so much and he is who I would normally turn to for that.

Even writing here I can not get my emotions straight. I just literally keep thinking in with good, out with bad... Fucking crazy I know, but still....

I want to write to him and tell him that I had felt whole for once. I trusted again for once, and he destroyed that, but it wouldnt' matter. I don't even know who he is. He is so ice cold to me right now.