I'm 23 today. And I get to celebrate by... working. Yay. At 11:37 CST (9:37 WST, the time zone I was born in), I will complete my 23rd year by performing an activity that completely sums up the last three years: Doing something I hate because I fucked around too much in college. So whomever buys a pack of cigarettes tonight at that time, let it be known that I wish I could open them up before selling them to you, and use each individual piece of rolling paper to wipe my ass. Thank you.

I'm 23 today. And I get to celebrate by... working. Yay. At 11:37 CST (9:37 WST, the time zone I was born in), I will complete my 23rd year by performing an activity that completely sums up the last three years: Doing something I hate because I fucked around too much in college. So whomever buys a pack of cigarettes tonight at that time, let it be known that I wish I could open them up before selling them to you, and use each individual piece of rolling paper to wipe my ass. Thank you.