SO...

I've been having chest pain for the past few days. Mostly a steady, nagging, pain... nothing unbearable. Today I kept getting awful, stabbing pains so my sister convinced me to go to the hospital. What a fun trip.

A. Triage... I'm talking to the nurse, explaining the pain, having vitals taken, etc. She asks me multiple times how much I smoke, randomly sneaking it in between other questions as if she were trying to trick me into saying something other than "I don't smoke." Then she asks what medications I take, vitamins included. So, I tell her "prenatal vitamins, iron, cranberry, and yaz birth control." At this point she gets all snotty and asks "why are you taking prenatals if you're on birth control?" Because prenatals are awesome vitamins. Bitch.

B. They put me in a "room" with a curtain for a wall that has a huge gap on either side so I can see everyone walking by, and vice versa. I get handed one of those sweet hospital gowns, and am told to change... "we'll give you some privacy" and they close the curtain... leaving a huge gap on either side. Whatever, I'm not shy, I change. Ha.

C. They run an EKG... normal, minus the heart rate increasing when the nurse tells me she's going to give me an IV. I hate needles. With a passion. The thought of a needle nearly made me cry. So, she sticks the thing in my arm, takes a bunch of blood to test, and wanders off. I wait around for a bit, and then get taken to X-ray. X-rays are taken, and I am redeposited in my room. The nurse comes back in and say's she is going to give me a shot for the pain. I told her, "if it involves another shot, I'll just take the pain... let me die." She points out that she only has to push it through the IV line. Duh, I'm retarded.

C. She pushes the pain med, and says something... the med kicks in, like, instantly so I don't catch what she says. I reply with "huh?" She repeats herself. I catch "0 to 10." I'm wondering if I'm supposed to count backwards from 0...

SO...

I've been having chest pain for the past few days. Mostly a steady, nagging, pain... nothing unbearable. Today I kept getting awful, stabbing pains so my sister convinced me to go to the hospital. What a fun trip.

A. Triage... I'm talking to the nurse, explaining the pain, having vitals taken, etc. She asks me multiple times how much I smoke, randomly sneaking it in between other questions as if she were trying to trick me into saying something other than "I don't smoke." Then she asks what medications I take, vitamins included. So, I tell her "prenatal vitamins, iron, cranberry, and yaz birth control." At this point she gets all snotty and asks "why are you taking prenatals if you're on birth control?" Because prenatals are awesome vitamins. Bitch.

B. They put me in a "room" with a curtain for a wall that has a huge gap on either side so I can see everyone walking by, and vice versa. I get handed one of those sweet hospital gowns, and am told to change... "we'll give you some privacy" and they close the curtain... leaving a huge gap on either side. Whatever, I'm not shy, I change. Ha.

C. They run an EKG... normal, minus the heart rate increasing when the nurse tells me she's going to give me an IV. I hate needles. With a passion. The thought of a needle nearly made me cry. So, she sticks the thing in my arm, takes a bunch of blood to test, and wanders off. I wait around for a bit, and then get taken to X-ray. X-rays are taken, and I am redeposited in my room. The nurse comes back in and say's she is going to give me a shot for the pain. I told her, "if it involves another shot, I'll just take the pain... let me die." She points out that she only has to push it through the IV line. Duh, I'm retarded.

C. She pushes the pain med, and says something... the med kicks in, like, instantly so I don't catch what she says. I reply with "huh?" She repeats herself. I catch "0 to 10." I'm wondering if I'm supposed to count backwards from 0 to 10 (yes, I was already so loopy that I thought "backwards from 0 to 10") so, again, "huh?" This time I catch it... she was saying "before this kicks in, on a scale from 0 to 10, how would you rate the pain at the moment?" Ha, too late.

D. They end up wheeling me out into the hallway because they needed more rooms, and when theres over crowding in hospitals sometimes you have to get put in the hallway. Theres a crazy broad in the room by me that is going NUTS, it was fairly entertaining. Anywho, after an hour and a half they come and tell me that my X-ray and blood work came back normal, and they can't find anything wrong. They tell me it may be anxiety and tell me to follow up with some doctor. They give me a script for vicodin, and tell me I'm good to go.

E. I stand up, grab my gear and get ready to head to the bathroom to put my clothes back on... the nurse says "oh by the way, you aren't driving, right?" and then tell's my sister (who does not drive, and definately can't drive a stick... which my car is) "she can't drive for AT LEAST another four hours," My sister looks at me, then the nurse and does one of those "uh... uh... uh... yes... yes, I'm driving." Good enough for the nurse, she bids us farewell. We head out to the car, and I drive away. Suckers.

F. After getting my meds, and wandering around the grocery store for a bit, we head home. My chest pain comes back shortly after so I take one of my vicodin. I attempt to watch the new Harold and Kumar movie. I don't know if it was whatever they gave me at the hospital, the vicodin or the combo of both but the movie did nothing but confuse me. Not to mention that my sister was talking on the phone at the same time, so I couldn't focus on anything. It was weird.

Anywho... so, probably two grand later... I am told that they have no clue whats wrong with me and give me drugs. They probably think that I'm one of those people that just go to the hospital and fake something to get drugs.

I am going to follow up with the doctor because I have been having anxiety issues again recently. Awesome. I hate being on medication for it but when I'm not, I get so aprehensive... it sucks. Plus, if it gets rid of the chest pain, I'll do anything.

The end.

P.S.
Frankus is a loserface. Haha... j/k He has been listening to me whine for the past hour. He's a good friend... and very tolerant hahaha