2758401
So Christmas is finally fucking over and I survived without hurting myself or anyone else.
I may have just suffered a minor aneurysm at the worse. Thank you to booze and the fact that some people actually care about my well being.
I never really cared to much for Christmas.
It's just so fucking materialistic. What the fuck are we teaching our kids with this shitty holiday? How to be good consumers!?
Buy people a bunch of shit they don't need and they will do the same for you! It's all a bunch of bullshit.
I tolerated it for the last 12 years though. My recent ex was a huge fan of this time of year. Seeing her enjoy it made me want to actually take part in the traditions of this horrible holiday. But, because it reminds me of her, splitting up during the season, the reminder that I will most likely see her niece and nephews every again. (I been there since the eldest was 1. I feel like they are just as much my niece and nephews as the offspring of my own siblings) my mild discontentment towards the holiday has ripened into a mighty, pulsating hatred.
Anyway..........
I was just planning on staying home and attempting to get some work done since it would cost money that I shouldn't be spending to get out of the city and see anyone. About 1am I decided that it would be a very bad idea for me to sit alone all day stewing in my own thoughts, so I purchased a train ticket to head out to spend the holiday with my family. Me and my family have never really been all that close (I was actually closer to my ex's family) We only really make contact with each other during major holidays. They are just small family gatherings, and as the years go by, the less members tend to show up. I always thought that my family did not truly give a shit about me. That they just simply dealt with me being around and acted like they cared at our gatherings. I believe this is do to some abandonment issues that have developed deep within me. I never thought anyone gave a...
So Christmas is finally fucking over and I survived without hurting myself or anyone else.
I may have just suffered a minor aneurysm at the worse. Thank you to booze and the fact that some people actually care about my well being.
I never really cared to much for Christmas.
It's just so fucking materialistic. What the fuck are we teaching our kids with this shitty holiday? How to be good consumers!?
Buy people a bunch of shit they don't need and they will do the same for you! It's all a bunch of bullshit.
I tolerated it for the last 12 years though. My recent ex was a huge fan of this time of year. Seeing her enjoy it made me want to actually take part in the traditions of this horrible holiday. But, because it reminds me of her, splitting up during the season, the reminder that I will most likely see her niece and nephews every again. (I been there since the eldest was 1. I feel like they are just as much my niece and nephews as the offspring of my own siblings) my mild discontentment towards the holiday has ripened into a mighty, pulsating hatred.
Anyway..........
I was just planning on staying home and attempting to get some work done since it would cost money that I shouldn't be spending to get out of the city and see anyone. About 1am I decided that it would be a very bad idea for me to sit alone all day stewing in my own thoughts, so I purchased a train ticket to head out to spend the holiday with my family. Me and my family have never really been all that close (I was actually closer to my ex's family) We only really make contact with each other during major holidays. They are just small family gatherings, and as the years go by, the less members tend to show up. I always thought that my family did not truly give a shit about me. That they just simply dealt with me being around and acted like they cared at our gatherings. I believe this is do to some abandonment issues that have developed deep within me. I never thought anyone gave a shit about me. In the end, everyone would eventually leave me to fend for myself in this world. Not that I ever really asked for anything of them.
It wasn't till I recently went through the hard, emotionally catastrophic life changes known as "the long term relationship breakup", that I started to realize that I actually do have others in my life that wish well for me.
I have always kept everyone out for one reason or another, and I now no that that has been one of my biggest faults in my life. I need to work on the relationships with everyone in my life, not just be concerned with my life with one person. When that one person that you gave you entire being to is no longer there, you become lost and alone. It's a risky path for anyone to take.
I big thank you to everyone out there that actually cares enough to listen to me being all bitter and bitching.
I may have just suffered a minor aneurysm at the worse. Thank you to booze and the fact that some people actually care about my well being.
I never really cared to much for Christmas.
It's just so fucking materialistic. What the fuck are we teaching our kids with this shitty holiday? How to be good consumers!?
Buy people a bunch of shit they don't need and they will do the same for you! It's all a bunch of bullshit.
I tolerated it for the last 12 years though. My recent ex was a huge fan of this time of year. Seeing her enjoy it made me want to actually take part in the traditions of this horrible holiday. But, because it reminds me of her, splitting up during the season, the reminder that I will most likely see her niece and nephews every again. (I been there since the eldest was 1. I feel like they are just as much my niece and nephews as the offspring of my own siblings) my mild discontentment towards the holiday has ripened into a mighty, pulsating hatred.
Anyway..........
I was just planning on staying home and attempting to get some work done since it would cost money that I shouldn't be spending to get out of the city and see anyone. About 1am I decided that it would be a very bad idea for me to sit alone all day stewing in my own thoughts, so I purchased a train ticket to head out to spend the holiday with my family. Me and my family have never really been all that close (I was actually closer to my ex's family) We only really make contact with each other during major holidays. They are just small family gatherings, and as the years go by, the less members tend to show up. I always thought that my family did not truly give a shit about me. That they just simply dealt with me being around and acted like they cared at our gatherings. I believe this is do to some abandonment issues that have developed deep within me. I never thought anyone gave a...