I'm not going to post anymore. I'm really not into the whole porn thing. I thought it would be something I could share w/my BF.
He hasn't been interested in sex with me for quite a while. we had a brief, fleating renaissance there, but it didn't last.
He never explained he likes something other than vanilla sex. I snooped. I wanted to be included. I wanted him to feel fulfilled and ok with his desires, ok w/me, blah blah blah.
I didn't realize this favorite sexual position was behind my back.
didn't matter what I tried. he always turned back to the online stuff. this makes me tremendously jealous. my needs are not met and he's going somewhere else for his....
and when I finally purchased and got comfortable using a vibrator I get flack from him. I don't understand that. why didn't that free you up to do what really gets you off??????????
having a relationship w/a person is really complicated and difficult. you have to pay attn to each other. you have to want the one you are with. otherwise, what's the point??
yes, online sex/ fetishism is easier. online dommes never have a period, their faces never break out, they never have a bad day, they never have money troubles- mainly because you're paying for their time!
there are NO other issues at play because there's no relationship.
you prefer this to me. it's not a new thing, it has been in your life longer than I have. shortly after you invited me to the SG thing, you stopped participating. you took dwn your profile. you didn't want to share with me.
yes, I know you fucking hate me. I'm a bitch. I'm not saying I didn't fly off the handle about all of this stuff but my god what a way to treat the one you "love". I offered to move out. you wanted me to stay. I was ready to end the relationship- you were not. now all of the fallout is my fault. I don't buy it.
you kicked me when I was down. I felt awful about myself and this compounds it.
He hasn't been interested in sex with me for quite a while. we had a brief, fleating renaissance there, but it didn't last.
He never explained he likes something other than vanilla sex. I snooped. I wanted to be included. I wanted him to feel fulfilled and ok with his desires, ok w/me, blah blah blah.
I didn't realize this favorite sexual position was behind my back.
didn't matter what I tried. he always turned back to the online stuff. this makes me tremendously jealous. my needs are not met and he's going somewhere else for his....
and when I finally purchased and got comfortable using a vibrator I get flack from him. I don't understand that. why didn't that free you up to do what really gets you off??????????
having a relationship w/a person is really complicated and difficult. you have to pay attn to each other. you have to want the one you are with. otherwise, what's the point??
yes, online sex/ fetishism is easier. online dommes never have a period, their faces never break out, they never have a bad day, they never have money troubles- mainly because you're paying for their time!
there are NO other issues at play because there's no relationship.
you prefer this to me. it's not a new thing, it has been in your life longer than I have. shortly after you invited me to the SG thing, you stopped participating. you took dwn your profile. you didn't want to share with me.
yes, I know you fucking hate me. I'm a bitch. I'm not saying I didn't fly off the handle about all of this stuff but my god what a way to treat the one you "love". I offered to move out. you wanted me to stay. I was ready to end the relationship- you were not. now all of the fallout is my fault. I don't buy it.
you kicked me when I was down. I felt awful about myself and this compounds it.
feeling a little fuzzy today, as though I was removed from what is going on around me. a little worn out may be.
love my new job, wish it paid better!
I have signed up through my high school alumni assoc. to be an e-mentor. if/ when the teenager that drew my name e-mails me I will have the chance to help shape her life. they really ought to do background checks for this stuff.......
hope I do a good job, actually excited for the program to begin.
love my new job, wish it paid better!
I have signed up through my high school alumni assoc. to be an e-mentor. if/ when the teenager that drew my name e-mails me I will have the chance to help shape her life. they really ought to do background checks for this stuff.......
hope I do a good job, actually excited for the program to begin.
roller coaster weekend.
back in the swing of things.
looking for AA mtgs and 2nd anniversary destinations. one is easier to sell than the other
back in the swing of things.
looking for AA mtgs and 2nd anniversary destinations. one is easier to sell than the other
AM-
Have no clue how I posted the same entry 50 times.... spazzy typing.
tons of errands to do before date night.
PM-
so much for having fun on my day off. you are profoundly inconsiderate. I know you don't understand.
you're in a bar drunk somewhere and I am at home dreading your return.
After 2 years this is the best I can hope for from you?!?!?! I think not.
thanx for not helping me with any of the grocery shopping, or cleaning, or laundry.
I am done. I am not going to fume.
Have no clue how I posted the same entry 50 times.... spazzy typing.
tons of errands to do before date night.
PM-
so much for having fun on my day off. you are profoundly inconsiderate. I know you don't understand.
you're in a bar drunk somewhere and I am at home dreading your return.
After 2 years this is the best I can hope for from you?!?!?! I think not.
thanx for not helping me with any of the grocery shopping, or cleaning, or laundry.
I am done. I am not going to fume.
Love it when we plan a date, gives me something to look fwd to all day.
hate the rat bastards at kaplan test prep. feel like I'm being worked over
I do not like being pushed around, GD corporate entities.
mmm, ice cream
hate the rat bastards at kaplan test prep. feel like I'm being worked over
I do not like being pushed around, GD corporate entities.
mmm, ice cream
yay! just had breakfast together at our favorite spot. 
do not often get to do things together as I have been working 2 jobs, studying for big test in december, blah blah blah.
everything has been scary- good. have had really fantastic sex since he finished his herculean labor...... planning some kind of fun for our 2nd anniversary at the end of october.
I have to work a bit late tonight, but e-mails like this make it speed by, "....possibly tonight I'll make you a salad and after you can sit on my face???
))". Look out girls, he's mine
*** 16 days no injury***
do not often get to do things together as I have been working 2 jobs, studying for big test in december, blah blah blah. everything has been scary- good. have had really fantastic sex since he finished his herculean labor......
planning some kind of fun for our 2nd anniversary at the end of october. I have to work a bit late tonight, but e-mails like this make it speed by, "....possibly tonight I'll make you a salad and after you can sit on my face???
))". Look out girls, he's mine *** 16 days no injury***
Having [another] really nice week together. He gave me his cold *swoon* and some spiffy perfume we both like. He does lots of little things to make me feel special.
The sex has been fun too. He'll help me orgasm 4 more times (of 10) before he's allowed to come. Love walking up to him and stroking him, rubbing against him until he moans,
taunting him all the while that he cannot orgasm- yet.
*** 10 days no injury***
The sex has been fun too. He'll help me orgasm 4 more times (of 10) before he's allowed to come. Love walking up to him and stroking him, rubbing against him until he moans,
taunting him all the while that he cannot orgasm- yet.
*** 10 days no injury***
