MEMBER SINCE: September 2011
makes me happy: Karma and Bacon
i lost my virginity: With Karma while eating Bacon.
sign: Stop
crush: Karma and Bacon
makes me sad: When Karma isn't on chat. :'( When there is no more bacon. :'(
gets me hot: Karma and Bacon
into: Karma and Bacon
BLOGS
Well, it's been awhile since my last blog. A lot has been happening lately. I obviously don't expect anyone to read any of this, or listen to any of the music i post; but it makes me feel better that I let it out. So if you do read what I write, or listen to the lyrics in the songs I post, I thank you. And sorry for all the spoilers.
*spoilers*
Not a lot of people know, but I have depression issues. I remember when I was a child, as happy as I was, I always felt lost. Throughout my life, I have always been sad. No matter how many material things I would encounter to make me smile, or people I would meet to love; the sadness never stopped. Even as a 19 year old college student, I sometimes find myself crying at night.
You know, everyone says, "You chose how you feel" or "You make yourself happy/sad". While it may be true for most people, it's not for me. I could wake up happy, and then anytime during my day, be set off into a spiraling mood. No matter how hard I try, it's really difficult to be happy. I find myself to be a very strong individual, physically and mentally; but emotionally, I am weak. That is why I escape to music.
*spoilers*
Without my music, I would go crazy. Even though sometimes it's depressing music, it somehow keeps me sane and holds me from slipping further. It's tough getting all the music I want though, because I'm slowly losing money. While I'm better off than a lot of people in this cruel world; I'm still hurting. I struggle to make rent every month, and I barely have enough to pay bills. It's tough to even eat; I'm always hungry because it's tough to buy groceries.
*spoilers*
Out of all the things that have triggered my depression, one sticks out. A few years ago, I fell in love. Alexis is her name, and she fit everything that I wanted in a girl. Beautiful, nice, smart, athletic, and she loved me back; or so I thought. One night, at my high school football...
*spoilers*
Not a lot of people know, but I have depression issues. I remember when I was a child, as happy as I was, I always felt lost. Throughout my life, I have always been sad. No matter how many material things I would encounter to make me smile, or people I would meet to love; the sadness never stopped. Even as a 19 year old college student, I sometimes find myself crying at night.
You know, everyone says, "You chose how you feel" or "You make yourself happy/sad". While it may be true for most people, it's not for me. I could wake up happy, and then anytime during my day, be set off into a spiraling mood. No matter how hard I try, it's really difficult to be happy. I find myself to be a very strong individual, physically and mentally; but emotionally, I am weak. That is why I escape to music.
*spoilers*
Without my music, I would go crazy. Even though sometimes it's depressing music, it somehow keeps me sane and holds me from slipping further. It's tough getting all the music I want though, because I'm slowly losing money. While I'm better off than a lot of people in this cruel world; I'm still hurting. I struggle to make rent every month, and I barely have enough to pay bills. It's tough to even eat; I'm always hungry because it's tough to buy groceries.
*spoilers*
Out of all the things that have triggered my depression, one sticks out. A few years ago, I fell in love. Alexis is her name, and she fit everything that I wanted in a girl. Beautiful, nice, smart, athletic, and she loved me back; or so I thought. One night, at my high school football...
JK LOL. but seriously. she's super tiny 
JUNE 2012
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