i hope you get this figured out, especially before burning man, that could potentially be bad

Oh man i miss seattle... I wish I was going with you. My sailboat is still up there to Ug.

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I was going to e mail or call to ser if you wanted to go kayaking sometime while its hot.

I hope you feel better

Todd

You don't need to be strong all the time. Look at it this way - only the strongest people can face their fears and accept them. But that having been said, unless there are people certified here (and there probably are - hopefully one will come forward) you might want to consider speaking with a professional about these feelings, where they come from (how far back and what caused them) and wonder what triggered them. It would seem odd that a single meeting with anyone, no matter how creepy, perverse or scary that person may have been, could have, in and of itself, provoked such a strong and continuing reaction unless it brought out some deep, long-burried trauma from your past. We just aren't qualified here to deal with anything at that deep a level, I don't think.

But whatever it is, I hope you can come to terms with it and overcome it and sooner rather than later. We may not be able to help but we can offer our support and concern.

Thanks for your response. I hope getting it out helped. This wasn't necessarily the greatest moment to have met you but I'm glad to meet you just the same.

Offering you support and wishing you strength and resolve. You don't have to be a superhero--you're allowed the full range of emotions--don't forget that. Talk any time.

people fall down when they're exhausted, after going great distances, and they get to rest up so they can get better at what they need to do. Whatever has you exhausted, confront it, and rest up. Nothing to be ashamed of, it's the nature of things, and it's worse not to let yourself rest than anything. I wish you the best and feel better soon.

I've hit my breaking point more than once myself. The final straw for me was earlier this year. We were watching "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and there was a scene that struck home with me. It reminded me of my father who had passed away a year before. It reminded me of the last day that I saw him, barely clinging to life in a hospital bed. I cried, I cried and cried and cried right there in the middle of the movie theater surrounded by strangers but I couldn't help it. I had held in the grief from my father's death for so long the cracks finally became fissures and the walls I had built around my feelings came crashing down.

The really weird part is I felt so much better afterwards. It still hurts when I think of my dad but I also feel, I don't know at peace as well. It actually helped to just let it go, to allow those walls that I used to call strength fall apart and allow myself to be vulnerable for once.

I guess my point is don't be afraid of not being strong. You've got a good man at your side and if he needs to he'll be the strength you need when you're exhausted I'm certain of that. In the end you will feel all the better for it like I did.

I'm actually intimidated by your strength and assume you would beat me in hand to hand combat. Or arm wrestling. Or checkers.

There is nothing wrong with the occasional cryathon, it can be purging and very therapeutic. It totally sucks sphincter though, that one creep old fuckard can push the buttons to release this flood of emotions. Hang in Hexy...

*HUGS*

Hey Gorgeous! Glad I actually got on to check my page! I will be working those days!!! Grrr... Will you be around in the city again soon after? Do you make it out this way much??? My schedule will be changing soon, so if you can make it out again, I should be more free!!! What are you planning to do the in the evenings this week?

ha ha ha... you got ME tearing up reading that! So true though...

good luck on the interview

Maybe you're changing. Maybe it's a cycle. Just never deny the way you feel and you can't go wrong.

<333