"This guy is a funny ass mofo. I highly recommend goofing on foreign guys with him."

"

Hapworth is my sunshine."

"My life before Hapworth became my SG Friend:

8 Figure Income, Penthouse apartment downtown, a supermodel trophy-wife, 3 Italian sports cars, Homes in Paris, Tokyo, Madrid and Vail, a Leer jet, Lifetime membership to SG and the undying admiration of all fellow mankind.

In the 4 days since his "friendship":

Pennyless, homeless, too unattractive to maturbate, an expired bus transfer, sleep in a puddle of sewage, arrested at the airport for flashing a blind albino, zotted from SG, and random kicks in the groin from nuns and schoolchildren.

Thanks for the friendship, ASSHOLE.
"