Well, I finally went to see a doctor, and I am happy to report that after 39 years of smoking, I do not have cancer or emphysema, nor have I caught tuberculosis from living in the barrio for 10 years. I had intended to quit smoking somehow, someday, and the month-long + respiratory illness helped me along. On the second day, I was hacking so badly I couldn't stand to smoke. Then I stayed so miserable for a couple of weeks that I didn't notice the withdrawal from my nicotine addiction. Now, breathing without a lot of popping, burbling and wheezing noises is something I am easily learning to like.

Some more miscellaneous passing thoughts for the entertainment and enlightenment of my friends:

When God was handing out Money, I thought He said Funny, so I went to the end of the line because I wanted to hear all the best stories. When I got up to His desk, He had run out of Money. In recompense for that little misunderstanding, He gave me a rather deep but odd sense of humor.

If the Guru says he didn't answer his door because:
He was communing with his ancestors, it means he was asleep;
He was meditating upon the Mysteries of the Cosmos, it means he was daydreaming about Sex;
He was delving into the Mysteries of the Cosmos, it means he was getiing some and really didn't want to be interrupted.

First Law of the Guru business: There's a seeker born every minute.

The course of the Sexual Revolution as I saw it:
When I was in Junior High, and first noticing girls, the Big Question was "Should you hold hands on the First Date?"
In High School, the Big Question was "Should you kiss on the First Date?"
After High School, the Big Question was "Should you Fuck on the First Date?"
After my tour with the U.S. Army, the Question was "Why bother dating, Want to Fuck?"

I once read of a German, more or less apologizing for the Holocaust, saying "We are a very obedient people, it is our greatest strength, and perhaps our greatest weakness." To that I say: We Americans are a...

Well, I finally went to see a doctor, and I am happy to report that after 39 years of smoking, I do not have cancer or emphysema, nor have I caught tuberculosis from living in the barrio for 10 years. I had intended to quit smoking somehow, someday, and the month-long + respiratory illness helped me along. On the second day, I was hacking so badly I couldn't stand to smoke. Then I stayed so miserable for a couple of weeks that I didn't notice the withdrawal from my nicotine addiction. Now, breathing without a lot of popping, burbling and wheezing noises is something I am easily learning to like.

Some more miscellaneous passing thoughts for the entertainment and enlightenment of my friends:

When God was handing out Money, I thought He said Funny, so I went to the end of the line because I wanted to hear all the best stories. When I got up to His desk, He had run out of Money. In recompense for that little misunderstanding, He gave me a rather deep but odd sense of humor.

If the Guru says he didn't answer his door because:
He was communing with his ancestors, it means he was asleep;
He was meditating upon the Mysteries of the Cosmos, it means he was daydreaming about Sex;
He was delving into the Mysteries of the Cosmos, it means he was getiing some and really didn't want to be interrupted.

First Law of the Guru business: There's a seeker born every minute.

The course of the Sexual Revolution as I saw it:
When I was in Junior High, and first noticing girls, the Big Question was "Should you hold hands on the First Date?"
In High School, the Big Question was "Should you kiss on the First Date?"
After High School, the Big Question was "Should you Fuck on the First Date?"
After my tour with the U.S. Army, the Question was "Why bother dating, Want to Fuck?"

I once read of a German, more or less apologizing for the Holocaust, saying "We are a very obedient people, it is our greatest strength, and perhaps our greatest weakness." To that I say: We Americans are a very disobedient people, it is our greatest weakness, and perhaps our greatest strength.

Two winos pissing in an alley, one says "Does your dick ever burn when you pee?" The other says "I dunno, I never tried to light it."

Daylight Savings is the equivalent of cutting a foot off one end of a blanket, sewing it onto the other end, then imagining you have a bigger blanket.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room, searching for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian in the one who finds it. (forgotten source)

Only Users Lose Drugs!

Q: What's the difference between Kissinger and Fuckinger? A: Kissinger is Strangelove.

Self-deception is the cornerstone of civilization.

Proof that cats are smarter than dogs: People train dogs, cats train people.

Cats are the last of the domestic menagerie to join with humans. Dogs go back to mesolithic times, horses and cattle are neolithic, but cats showed up in Egypt some mere 4,000 years ago. They waited until people had domesticated themselves enough to be fit to live with. One day a cat came sauntering in, looked around, and if people only had ears to hear, they would have heard:

"Hmmm, nice digs you have here. Whether you know it or not, you need a cat. I am that cat. I am herewith the Lord and Master of this house. These are the rules: 1) The dog stays outside; 2) I will sleep whenever I want, and wherever I want; 3) Anything not tied down is mine; 4) Anything I can tear loose isn't tied down; 5) You have the privilege of stroking and cuddling me whenever I don't have anything more important to do; and 6) When it suits me, I will help reduce the mouse, rat and bug population hereabouts."