So today is 8 days.....
8 days and no ciggies
But the more Im not smoking the more Im eating junk food...... its bad.
So now I must stop this as well. I think its time to test my will power to the max. If I can quit smoking so easy, why cant I lose 40 lbs? lolololol
I would like to lose 7-10 lbs a month. Does that sound too presumptuous? Id like to try anyways. I need to be active. I want to be one of those people that enjoy working out. I hear if you stick out the first month of exercising you learn to love it. And rely on it. I would love that. I envy my manager for feeling "incomplete" when she doesnt work out. Like, for real? is that possible to feel? Because right fucking now- I hate it. I hate moving lol. I like to chill. Too much - and this is why I am fluffy. lol. yes we'll call me fluffy.
Ive been "fluffy" my whole life and would love to see what its like to feel thin. To feel comfortable in my own skin. Ive never felt that. Ive been called fat since I was a young child. Which is really sad. It used to break my heart when I was a lil girl but Ive learned to appreciate myself more since then. But I still want to be "normal" I want to be average. To be Medium.
I want my boyfriend to look at me and think "god damn my girlfriend is fucking sexy" to want to just stare at my body and shit like that lol.
He says he loves my body now, I dont believe him. Is this my own problem? Probably. Ive been feeling really hard on myself. And instead of just fucking whining- I need to get the fuck up and do something. It just sucks the pay off is so gradual.
Anyways,
gnight.
8 days and no ciggies
But the more Im not smoking the more Im eating junk food...... its bad.
So now I must stop this as well. I think its time to test my will power to the max. If I can quit smoking so easy, why cant I lose 40 lbs? lolololol
I would like to lose 7-10 lbs a month. Does that sound too presumptuous? Id like to try anyways. I need to be active. I want to be one of those people that enjoy working out. I hear if you stick out the first month of exercising you learn to love it. And rely on it. I would love that. I envy my manager for feeling "incomplete" when she doesnt work out. Like, for real? is that possible to feel? Because right fucking now- I hate it. I hate moving lol. I like to chill. Too much - and this is why I am fluffy. lol. yes we'll call me fluffy.
Ive been "fluffy" my whole life and would love to see what its like to feel thin. To feel comfortable in my own skin. Ive never felt that. Ive been called fat since I was a young child. Which is really sad. It used to break my heart when I was a lil girl but Ive learned to appreciate myself more since then. But I still want to be "normal" I want to be average. To be Medium.
I want my boyfriend to look at me and think "god damn my girlfriend is fucking sexy" to want to just stare at my body and shit like that lol.
He says he loves my body now, I dont believe him. Is this my own problem? Probably. Ive been feeling really hard on myself. And instead of just fucking whining- I need to get the fuck up and do something. It just sucks the pay off is so gradual.
Anyways,
gnight.
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But yeah, once you start working out regularly it becomes like a drug and your body craves it. My drug of choice has always been running/jogging, so I do that everyday. Start out easy, find a good personal trainer if you want, if for nothing else just to kick you in the ass when you are having a lazy day. It's very much worth it in the end, for feeling great mentally and physically.