glamerdork

Today was my first day of winter quarter classes (blegh)-- it wasn't too bad. I only had one class (costume design)-- it was actually interesting today. When I got home this morning I did a bit of cleaning. I actually washed my sheets and bedspread. I'm proud of myself (okay so they're now in the laundry room because I didn't take them out of the drier on time and I need to re-dry them again!)

So... today was weird. While I was walking down the street, I kept thinking "i'm not a virgin anymore... can everyone tell?" Okay, so normally I think people are staring at me anyway (for one reason or another) but today it just felt like everyone and their mother was looking. My class was at 2:20-- I was supposed to meet people at the caf for lunch @ 1:30, but that never happened. I ended up having 1 wheat thin for breakfast and lunch. Oh-- and some apple juice. When I went into the caf, I kind of passed this kid Matt who I had a pretty big crush on last quarter. Everything feels different now... like I don't feel like I give off that "i'm such a prude goodie two shoes aura" anymore. In any case, I know I looked relatively hot today. I felt good about myself and it showed (or at least my dark red lipstick hid any negativity well.) As he walked by, I decided not to be my normal shy self (and ignore him/ pretend I was thinking about something else... looking for something...) -- I looked right at him and said hi. I think i need to do that more often.. just look at people and stop thinking that they'll think i'm some sort of freak for attempting to be friendly. They can think i'm some sort of freak for other reasons.. but that won't be one of them.

Yea-- so I saw Matt.. who... well.. is still really cute. But he's no Chris. See... they're from two different worlds of the male species. To understand Matt, think of the pot-head character from Empire Records (wtf is his name?) -- to understand Chris.. uhh... I don't think there is a movie character like him. He's lots of characters combined. In some senses, he's got his shit together- in others- he's a total mess. I think that Matt wouldn't be the type of guy I could date anyway. I mean, maybe i'd fool around with him or whatever if i'm even single again and that became a possibility... but date-wise-- eh. He's too into his pot to be decent a relationship right now (or so it seems.) He's the "i just want to have fun" type of guy. Which is fine... for him. Chris is the opposite here as well-- he likes to be commited. Serious. I like it too. But then I see other hot boys and girls and I wonder if it's the right thing for me, or if it's just what i think should be the right thing fer me.

Oh it's all so frustrating. But i'm enjoying it all the same.

Yea... so... anyways... when I was in the caf, I walked by a girl who looked a lot like mikehunt/punkrockwhore, but i didn't stop to say anything because I figured I was just seeing things. (turns out it was her.) Umm... oh-- the only other interesting thing before the end of class was that all during costume design, Matt kept looking into the room. Once again, I thought I was just imagining this... there was one time we definitely caught each others glance.. but then I asked my roommate (who is also in my class afterwards) and she says he was looking in a lot. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

After class, I ran my ass over to the music hall for voice lessons. Then I came back to the dorm, through on my black and white polka dot halter bathing suit and went to the gym for an hour of aqua arobics.

I can now say that I'm sore in every part of my body. *giggle*

Umm... and supposedly I'm going to see "chicago" tonight. I need to clean again. Will I ever finish? Probably not.

Question: What does sex mean to you?