If you guys are going to be in the Daytona Beach area next weekend, be sure to check out my band, The Whimsical Toenails, playing at Big Chubby's Squirt Shack. We go on right before the headliner Dead Frurst.

people ask me all the time* why I'm not on Facebook. The answer is simple, I don't care what you had for dinner. Or what you got for your birthday, or where you are going on holiday.


*No one ever asks me this.

the rumors are always true.

cartoon porn was the tits. i know most people wouldn't agree with me, but it was.

I like girls who dress like they want the world to look at them and drool. More broadly I just appreciate people with style. The world can be a pretty boring place, why not spice it up when you have a chance, amirite? For a good example of what I'm talkin 'bout WIllis check out the third pic in Waikiki's front pager.

Yeesh. So hot.

Also, if you are into cooking I can't recommend this book strongly enough.

Ruhlman's Twenty

It is, dare I say, life changing, if your idea of happiness is a being a culinary ninja.

In music news, much as I fear that Florence and the Machine is basically just Coldplay I have to admit I like that Shake it Out song. What do I mean about the Coldplay thing? It just seems like ever year or two some band gets really big writing "shout it from the rafters" songs that are long on hooks, short on instrumental proficiency, and ultimately disposable. But I do enjoy the turn of a good phrase and it's hard to beat this:

I'm always dragging that horse around
And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

for evocative glory and universal truthiness. This line isn't bad either,

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart

So chew on them apples.

I killed like a motherfucker last night in Call of Duty. Some people like getting lots of kills, me? I'm a +k/d guy. If I kill more than I die, I figure I've won. So yeah, I camp more than the next guy might find admirable, but I'll be damned if you chumps are gettin the drop on ol' FridgeMagnet. *spits tobaccy between teeth* *lights match on beard* *looks off into the distance*


I think i quit smoking for good. It's kinda weird. Nice to not smell like crap all the time and have the lurking threat of the millions of health problems smoking causes, but it was always kind of an existential thing with me. I'm gonna need to find a new thing.

I like Anthony Bourdain. He has some thing in one of his books about how hookers are more honorable than most corporate CEOs, and I think I agree with that.

Nobody really likes the Velvet Underground.

Bill Hader is awesome, how many comedians have both an Alan Alda and a Keith Morrison impression in their repertoire?

The new Van Halen song Tattoo is awful. I think the beauty of rock music is that it exposes dishonesty really fast. The best rock songs are written by young crazy people, or old pissed off thoughtful people. If you're just trying to have some fun and make a buck you will look pathetic.

I like that Jenna Marbles person. Because even when her jokes go on too long and aren't funny, at least tits.

Check back some other time for more pointless inanity.

Before there was you,
there was nothing
Before there was nothing
there was everything
and everything left scars

You seem to be
exactly what you seem to be
Relentlessly predictable
Insouciant earnestly
You seem to be
exactly what you seem to be
Sanguine in your ways
Zen like in uncertainty

Life will break you
beautifully
Time will have it's way
Have a laugh or two
and drink the dark away

You seem to be
exactly what you seem to be
Relentlessly predictable
Insouciant earnestly
You seem to be
exactly what you seem to be
Sanguine in your ways
Zen like in uncertainty
You seem to be
exactly what you seem to be

I'm in love with California. I have a crush on the state.I lived here for two years in San Fran, I travel here a few times a year, and every time i come and every time i leave my heart breaks a little. It's that heart break you feel when you see something so beautiful that you want to posses it, but you can't. Because you can't posses true beauty, it's too impermanent and fleeting but you want to. So bad that it hurts somewhere in your ego and your soul.

Anyway, I think I need to move here.